pre built kitchen cupboards

fallout equestria: project horizonsby somber chapter 44: mares and stallions“it’s awfully pretty.” “yes, she was.” the wasteland is a poisonous place. i don'tmean the taint, radiation, and disease; sure, those are problems, but they're not the wasteland'strue assault. all of those can be fought or borne. they could even be defeated entirely…but not by one pony working alone or by warring gangs or small, scattered, distrustful settlements.red eye's slave empire might be able to do it, but then the old horrors would just bereplaced by new ones. to heal equestria, ponies needed harmony, true harmony, and that waswhat the wasteland fought against most strongly.

the poisons that are killing us aren't magicalor chemical; they're psychological. and they were killing equestria even before there wasa wasteland. rampage had tried to show me that, but i hadn’tquite gotten it. i was poisoned; we all were. doubt. fear. hate. regret. shame. pride. iwas a walking toxic waste dump of mental venoms that were killing me and ponies around me.no wonder i’d taxed happyhorn’s therapy machines to their absolute limit. no surprisethey couldn’t create a simulation that i’d have been content with. the faults lay notwith the environment but with myself. and i’d killed an innocent filly.i knew i wasn’t deus yet; i hadn’t gone in there intending to kill boing and her twofriends. they’d been casualties in my fight

with the seekers. but two weeks ago, wheni faced the reapers in megamart, i hadn’t tried to tear them apart like i had the thunderheadpegasi in yellow river. i could have talked my way out, especially with dusk there. icould have tried to find a better way. now… now i wasn’t even sure i was tryinganymore. and i’d have to change that. since i’dgotten back to the hoof, i’d been falling apart. no. even before that, when i’d pulledthat stunt with littlepip… would i have done something that reckless if i’d beennormal? and everything past that… brimstone’s fall… priest… chimera… the harbingers…i was running full out with no brakes or thought at all. something inside me was wrong, andi needed to find a way to fix it. pieces of

myself had been falling away bit by bit, andi needed to find a way to pull myself together. and the first step was finding a place tosleep. i’d wanted to go back to the tunnel withboing. i’d wanted to give her and her friends a burial like i hadn’t given scoodle, butthat wasn’t possible. i’d gotten into viewing range of the construction site andcould go no further without being spotted. the seekers were using the train tunnel tocome and go in their search for me, and without a stealthbuck, i’d be toast. even with one,i doubted i could sneak out three bodies for burial.so now i was heading due south towards the western edge of the immense plug of blackrock. it had to be almost a mile across and

at least that high, disappearing into theclouds above and probably only visible against the dark sky due to my cybereyes. it was funny,though: the more i looked at it, the more boring it became. it was just a rock. bigand black, but a rock. around it for several hundred feet was a tumbledfield of jagged and broken obsidian. five minutes spent trying to pick my way aroundmassive hexagonal blocks of stone that had peeled away from the sides of the mountain,and over shattered black volcanic glass, convinced me that this was a good and nasty way to die.the sharp glass edges promised a particularly bloody end at the slightest misstep. therewas, though, life among the rocks, and while it mostly consisted of a low thorny brushthat was practically impenetrable, there was

also some amazingly green grass.i found a small trickle of water running out from a gap in the black stone; i followedit for a while and reached a place where the water pooled in a largeish wedge formed bytwo massive blocks. as i was taking a nice long drink, a thought struck me. i lookedaround; i'd deactivated my e.f.s. so that the red bars would stop twitching in my visioneverywhere i looked. there was no way i could fight them properly if they all were real,anyway, and it was impossible to pick anything useful out of all the noise my wonky brainwas throwing in. the night seemed quiet and still, though, save for the soft noise andmotion of the water. this was probably still a bad idea, but… i stripped off my armorand carefully waded in; i definitely didn't

want to get over my head, as swimming wasimpossible with my metal legs. the water turned out to be quite warm, somehow; despite everythingi'd been through, i smiled at this simple pleasure.was there anything more soothing and civilizing than enough hot water to submerge yourselfin? i washed the accumulated blood, sweat, andgrime off my hide and white-enameled limbs, then gave the same treatment to my thrashedarmor. half the ceramic plates lining the back would have to be replaced, but i hadsome suits from happyhorn that i could use for repairs. i’d have killed for a blockof soap, but just cleaning myself off helped to keep me stable. i was walking a very delicateline; the hospital had helped me face what

i’d done, but i hadn’t really processedit yet. heck, i still wasn’t over scoodle or what had happened on the boat.the boat… i thought of how i’d been acting. the ghoul scavenger in brimstone’s fall…candlewick’s ass grab… was i even safe to be around males? the thing was, after gettingto know p-21 as a person and meeting priest and others, i liked them. for most of my life,they’d been nothing but reproductive equipment, and i’d used them as such. i hadn’t beenmuch better than the bucks who’d ploughed me on the seahorse. out in the wasteland,i’d realised that they were so much more: friends, enemies... and maybe even somethingelse some day. oh, sure, glory had my heart. but i didn’t want to be… reactive. assertive:yes. respected: would be nice. berserk…

no.i found a submerged ledge i could sit back on and looked at my mechanical hoof. i extendedmy fingers and watched them slowly move. there was a special kind of magic there, takingmy thought to move and translating it into the motion i wanted. enchanted to repair itselfand to magically translate feeling, pressure, temperature, and damage. tough. yet as i staredat the water beading on the white surface, i had to admit that, if i’d been given achoice, i’d have had my normal limbs back. but i was a cyberpony. one i’d known hadbeen content to be reduced to a life in a jar. the other had been a sadistic monster.the only other people like me that i’d met weren’t even ponies. that didn’t leaveme with a whole lot of definite ground to

figure out what i was supposed to do or be.theoretically, i might live for centuries; the professor had. but what about relationships?would i outlive glory? could i have a family? should i even want to have one? i still couldfeel pleasure; hell, it was the last remaining thing i had that was unquestionably organic.something to live for… if only the thought of it didn’t make onepart of me start to panic and another part of me feel horribly guilty and another partfeel ugly and mechanical. i touched the restored left side of my face. glory had saved my sanity;i never would have lasted if i couldn’t even look in the mirror and not see a machine.i gave a rueful smile as i played matchmaker in my head. it helped take my mind off otherthings. if i were to get physical with a stallion,

who would it be? p-21? ohh… that thoughtopened up a can of radroaches even i couldn’t begin to deal with. i’d had a brief fantasyof a fling with priest before he’d reminded me that not all bucks were interested in me.what about brutus? i thought of the massive black earth pony and smiled. okay, there wasa warm and fuzzy tingle. sagittarius? he was a little older than me but certainly had somepossibilities. splendid? hmm… if you got past that whole ‘society slavery’ thing,he was positively delicious. stronghoof was... a little too intense. lighthooves…that curdled the buttery feelings churning in my nethers. so much for that little thoughtescape. and really, why was i contemplating who i’d like to slap flanks with at a timelike this? shouldn’t i be kicking myself

for boing, fearing myself for what i’d doneat yellow river, berating myself for not following happyhorn’s advice and finding a way tosleep, or disgusted with myself for even thinking about sex after what happened on the seahorse?surely i should be hating myself one way or another right now?“self-destructive impulses… gee… i wonder why the machine would say that?” i mutteredwith a groan. i lay back on a rock, staring up. there wasa gap between the clouds and the mountain; enough to let a tiny crescent of white moonlightpeek through. the pale luminescence turned the black knob of stone into a glittering,ghostly sculpture. i had to admit, i was astonished to find anything beautiful in the hoof; thisplace seemed to thrive on ugliness and miser--

oh. hello…two yellow eyes peered out of darkness of the thorn bushes. vertical pupils cut throughyellow irises, coming to points like a dragon’s. the eyes watched me with a very steady stare,and i didn’t dare move towards the gear i’d left dripping on a rock beside the pool.finally, a minute passed, and i began to get more and more tense. “can i help you?”i asked as i slowly moved to stand on the ledge.step by step it… he… emerged. he was a pony like none i’d ever seen before. hishide was a dark gray and his tail a deep purple; i couldn’t see his mane under his helmet.to my shock, he had wings… but not wings like a pegasus. these wings were leatheryskin--similar to a manticore’s--rather than

feathered, and his large ears had prominenttufts at the ends. i’d never seen a monsterpony like this before... and i’d thought thatbrass had been the last one anyway. he wore dark purple metal armor that appeared almostarchaic but also quite intricate and clearly well-crafted and tended. at least that suggestedhe wasn’t a feral monster... “okay… look… sanguine is dead, so let’sjust let bygones be bygones and i’ll be on my way, okay? okay!” i said with a strainedgrin. he stood on one of the rock slabs that formed the pool wall. i saw he had a freshlykilled radhog slung across his back, bleeding all over his sides and wings. he simply lookedat me and then removed the ornate-looking helmet, revealing a short mane the same purpleas his tail. next to it he set his kill.

then he took off his armor and i amended onelittle fact: he wasn’t just a stallion… look past the freaky wings and the eyes, andthere was absolutely no denying he was a damned good-looking stallion. little apprehensivealarms began to sound along with an admiration i just been practicing earlier. i had to admitthat from a purely biological standpoint, he was damned fine! toned flanks sportinga strange heart-shaped gothic shield, strong shoulders, he was big but not too big… ishook my head hard. okay… not the time for this!of course, that did nothing for the part of my mind that was screaming and making my nethersclench. another little part of the crazy that was my brain wanted to get friendly then andthere just to prove that what had happened

to me wasn’t in control. fortunately, ihad just enough sanity left to seize both impulses and send them into opposite cornersof my mind for a time out. “hey… um… it’s really nice to meet you! at least,i hope you’re nice! i mean, of course you’re nice. we’re all nice here, and-“he jumped into the other side of the pool, disappearing under the water. wow… was itjust me or did the water get a whole lot hotter?! it might explain why i was so warm all ofa sudden! he emerged just a few feet away, the water cascading off him as those brightamber eyes peered at me. he then sat on the ledge beside me, and i just sat there, earsfolded back, staring at him. there was a riot going on in my head as i had parts screamingto attack, parts screaming to run, and parts

screaming to rut. silence was my only hope.fortunately, he didn’t speak to the crazy cyberpony sitting with her legs pressed togetherand her tail so tight between them that it’d take a prybar or a little flattery to getit out. he washed the blood off his lovely charcoal gray coat, his wings stretching outa little. i couldn’t take my eyes off him. i had no doubt i could kill him; that wasn’tthe point. i wanted to be around a stallion without reacting like they were the ones onthe boat. i didn’t want to be a grenade with the stem pulled. he sighed and reclinedin the hotspring, and that pulled my eyes in an entirely different direction.i was pretty sure my face was the same color as my mane as i sunk down, staring straightahead. what the hell was the matter with me?

i was just taking a bath with a… very…very… nice stallion. one who just looked at me and smiled steadily. this wasn’t 99;he wasn’t on my queue. i wasn’t forcing anything. he wasn’t forcing anything. hewasn’t trying to shoot me… always a bonus! say hi, blackjack. run away, blackjack. don’tkill him, blackjack. do something, blackjack! “gottagohiwhatsyernamebye!” i blurtedall at once, and he looked at me in surprise. i covered my face with my hooves. “look.thank you for not trying to kill me. really. i really appreciate it! but i’m just a littlebit of a basket case and i’ve been through a lot and you’re really cute… really…but... yeah. sorry.” and i turned and climbed out of the pool next to my gear.so did he.

i froze as i saw him right there behind me.neither of us blinked as he just looked at me and i stared over my shoulder at him. ifhe put one hoof on my flank i’d kill him. but i also really wanted him to… and i alsofelt horribly guilty for wanting him to… and so i just stood there as he sniffed thecrazy mare. ooookay... apparently i smelled good. i didn’t dare move, and if he touchedme... oh, i really didn’t want to kill him. except that i also really did. my brain waszigzagging all over the place; in 99 i was the one who was supposed to fill my queue,make all the moves. this was... new. he lifted his head and smiled at me with a soft nicker.he was game. oh was he game. was i?finally, the assorted crazy that was my brain

lurched to a decision as i turned to facehim and backed away. as much… as nice… as the idea was, there were way too many unknowns,not to mention the fact i might snap and kill him right in the middle. i was really gladfor once that my heart wasn’t pounding in my chest; the noise would have been a deadgiveaway. but i didn’t know who or what he was beyond male… sweet celestia, washe… but i didn’t even know his name, not to mention species!“look. ah… i need to go. i am… really… not in any condition to… ah… you know.and… thanks for not killing me. or trying to. it’s just… yeah… okay…” pleasedon’t follow. please don’t follow, i mentally begged as i went to my gear. “i’m reallyflattered but i’m kinda cursed and a little

unstable and i really appreciate what you’redoing but really its just a bad idea and i don’t even know your name or what you areexactly so thanks but…” i babbled a constant stream, hoping that i’d eventually hit theword or phrase that would convince him i was not the kind of mare he wanted to rut with.i looked down. gear. guns. good to go! i just bundled them up in one heap. i’d put themon later when there wasn’t as much penis around me… nice penis on a strange bat-stallionwho might just be sizing me up to eat or- i looked up and he was right there. just…right there in front of me with his bright eyes and what was the matter with me? whatwas the matter with him?! wasn’t there this huge sign around my neck saying ‘don’tspank flanks with the crazy’? my brain gears

locked up. “hi,” was all i could squeakout. “please i’m not safe to… ah,” i whimpered as he leaned in. i really didn’tknow what i’d do if he… apparently, it was stop thinking. his lipsmet mine, and while i was in no condition to be kissed, another part of me came roaringto the front of my mind and with primal rage stomped every last bit of guilt from my crazy.don’t kill him… please don’t kill him… no doubt i’d be angsting like crazy forthis later, but for right now i just let it go. i kissed this strange, utterly anonymousstallion back. no doubt he’d turn out to have some sort of terrible secret or darkpast or traumatized soul or… something! but right now, i had to admit he was a damnedgood kisser. there was just one thing…

i slugged him so hard he landed in the middleof the pool with a splash. fortunately, he wasn’t half metal and floated there in adaze as i huffed, inventing all new colors of red. with him further away and my ardormomentarily doused, i was able to sort a few things out.i had to admit, i’d really needed that kiss. i might have radroaches in my brain, sufferfrom self-destructive episodes, and be half metal… but as he pulled away, a little ponyin the back of my head gave a little ‘woot! i’m cute and good enough to get kissed bya cute guy!’ cheer and dance. i quickly backed away, feeling confused and thankfuland wary all at once. he blinked at me from the middle of the pool, and i was oddly gladand at the same time alarmed to see him smiling

ruefully.“um… thanks… but don’t do that again,” i said as the cheer wore off and warinessresumed, but he seemed to be content with just that and backed away. the kiss had rearrangedthings a little. no, rutting was off the table and i’d smash him if he tried. panic wasshelved for the time being; if he had friends show up, though…hey… i’d just kissed a guy and not shot him! that was progress, right! right? ugh…why now? i didn’t know how to deal with a buck that was interested in me like that.first things first. “so… do you talk?” i asked him as he dragged himself out of thepool. he held the side of his face and frowned, but thoughtfully rather than in annoyance.finally he shook his head and pointed at himself.

his mouth opened and closed several times,but then he pointed his hoof at me and covered his ears.“you can talk, but i can’t hear it?” i asked in confusion, and then he tapped hisnose with a nod and smile. “but i can smell it?” he froze and then sat, waving his hoovesin front of him and shaking his head. “i can’t smell it?” he stopped and lookedat me now with probably as much confusion as i had. “okay, okay. the important thingis that you can’t talk in any way i can understand?” he sighed, rolled his ambereyes, then shrugged. he stood and trotted to his armor, then pulledout a chalkboard and a piece of chalk. he popped the latter into his mouth and wrote‘yes’. just like ditzy doo, as i recalled.

okay, so we had communication… sort of.he erased the board with the tip of his wing and then wrote ‘stygius’ and grinned ashe tapped his chest with a hoof. “your name?” i asked, and he nodded once.stygius… okay. i apparently attracted all sorts. “okay, stygius. my name’s blackjack.what are you doing out here?” he looked surprised. he pointed at the radhog,then crouched and pounced the rock a few feet ahead of him, all four hooves hitting theground at once. he swept his forehooves wide, making a popping noise with his tongue. thenhe pranced along the side of the pool, fanning his wings. he stopped, covering his eyes witha hoof as he looked at me. then he gave a broad and somewhat cocky little smile as hedipped his hoof into the pool and made a little

splash. then he kissed the air and abruptlystood upright on his hind legs, and slowly fell back till he collapsed with all fourlegs thrust up into the air. “so you were out hunting, made your kill,were flying back, spotted me and… decided to flirt?” the batpony sat up, rubbing hischin, and then grinned and nodded. “you didn’t think i was a raider or… bait?something?” he grabbed his slate, cleaned it, then wrote,‘too sexy.’ seriously? “you thought i was… i was toosexy to be dangerous?” now i was more worried about him than what he might do to me. hegrinned ruefully and shrugged, smiling up at me. clearly i’d need to hit him againif i was going to work that interest out of

him. i rubbed my temples and moved on to thenext important question on my mind. “what are you?”the batpony blinked, then wrote ‘luna’s guards’.okay… so not a monsterpony. and plural. i certainly hadn’t heard anything aboutthem in school, or the wasteland survival guide, or from dj pon3. “you used to guardprincess luna?” he pointed at himself and then shook his head.he then wrote ‘great x10 grandma’. “oh. you’re the descendants of luna’sguards…” i said, and he tapped his nose. i assumed that that was his way of saying‘yes’. “but… why didn’t they die in canterlot with her?” he looked at mewith a flat expression, and i winced inwardly;

i couldn’t blame him. that was a 9.5 onthe bluntometer. he rolled his eyes and cupped his forelegs,rocking them back and forth. then he pointed betwixt my legs and tapped his stomach. thenhe pointed at himself and held his hoof colt-high in front of him. i struggled a moment, thenguessed, “oh… so there were babies, mothers, and young ponies who weren’t in canterlot?”he nodded vigorously. “do you live around here, then?”he froze, then forced a grin and shook his head firmly. he looked a bit too nervous tome, though. he glanced out into the darkness, then waved vaguely off towards the east. “ah…well, very nice to meet you, stygius…” really, it was nice to meet something interestingthat wasn’t trying to kill me. “but i

really should be on my way.”i shook the water out of my barding and strapped it on. stygius looked crestfallen as he watchedme. suddenly, he darted back to his dark purple armor, put it on in a flash, and soared overand landed in front of me with a broad, cocky grin. but due to his haste, his armor wasaskew and his helmet was on backwards. he froze a moment, then reached up and turnedit around straight, trying to maintain a dignified expression. “you… want to come with me?”he bowed deeply. i sat and looked at him flatly. “why?”he glanced at my posterior, then grinned and struck a noble pose.it might have been a little bit impressive, even with the backwards helmet, if a seconddark form hadn’t swooshed out of the night

and pounced right on top of him. he slid almostten feet, looking up at a second batpony with the same dusky hide; her mane was more bluishthan purple, but other than that they looked quite similar. this batpony was a mare inthe same sort of armor, and she looked pissed as her bright yellow eyes glared down at him.suddenly, i could just make out the faintest chirps, squeaks, and squeals at the edge ofmy hearing as she moved her mouth. the lecture was accompanied by her pointing at me andthen smacking him upside the head. somepony was in trouble…finally, she huffed and stepped back, letting stygius rise. she glared at his armor androughly jerked it all into place and buckled it down, then snorted and nodded before frowningat me. her hoof pointed imperiously away.

“okay. okay. i get the idea,” i mutteredas i backed off. stygius launched himself into the air andlanded next to me, the batmare looking shocked as he landed. i heard the faintest squeaksand chirps as he pointed at me. she frowned at him, now more in worry than anger. shemade the smallest chirp, and jabbed her hoof in my direction. then she looked at him suspiciouslyand pointed at me again, making another noise. he suddenly looked nervous, fidgeted, andthen assumed the noble pose once more and made what i assumed was supposed to be a gallantsound. she looked at him flatly, then sighed andshook her head, taking off and soaring in an arc to land before me. then she reachedout and patted my shoulder gently. i just

stared at her in utter confusion as she trottedpast stygius with a scornful snort, grabbed the radhog in her hooves, and flew off intothe night on silent bat wings. i looked at stygius. “sooooo?”he sighed, grabbed his chalk, and scribbled ‘twin sister.’ a moment later, he added‘tenebra’ underneath it. strange names must be a batpony thing. he erased it andthen wrote, ‘she mad.’ no. really? “why?”‘rules.’ he made a snapping motion with his hooves, then pointed at me and shook hishead. breaking rules? “oh. you weren’t supposed to… ah…join me?” i asked. he smiled and tapped his nose. “why not?” he blinked, frowned,started to move… stopped, then frowned again.

he erased the board and started to write.frowned… erased it… started again. finally, he huffed softly and wrote ‘cause,’then nodded once. i supposed that that would have to do.“and you want to come with me?” he grinned and bowed deeply. “why?” he blinked andstarted to strike a pose, but at my flat look he froze, his grin becoming tense. he slumped,took the chalkboard slate in his hooves, erased it, and wrote slowly.when he’d finished, he hung his head as he held the slate up between his hooves. ‘urpretty mare.’ “pretty?” i said as i took a step back.he nodded and sighed. “you want to come with me because i’m pretty?” he noddedagain, peeking at me. i covered my face with

a hoof. “look… stygius… i have issues.balefire bomb-sized issues. i might just snap and geld you because you look wrong at mybutt. i just got out of an insane asylum. heck… i’ve got an army of cultists tryingto track me down!” i didn’t mention the worst thing i’d done in the last day. “thesmart thing for you to do is go and join your sister. i’m nothing but trouble.”he blinked and frowned, then rubbed his chin. “seriously! i am not safe to be around.”he pursed his lips as he stared at me. i took another step back. “c…come on! you can’tseriously want to come with me just because i’m pretty!” he gave an easy grin andnodded. nasty, suspicious parts of my head were hissing all kinds of accusations. thiswas obviously some sort of plot. there was

some kind of scheme here. no stallion couldwant to just trot along for the heck of it. he wanted something, and i was fairly sureit was right underneath my tail. but was that necessarily a bad thing? hellyes, roared part of my mind. maybe not, murmured another part.once upon a time, p-21 had accused me of having trust issues in that i was really, really,stupidly trusting. now here i was, suspicious simply because a strange buck liked me, wasinterested in me, and wanted to come along. i laughed softly, shaking my head and earninga quizzical look from the charcoal batpony. batpony… there had to be a better name forthem. i sighed and nodded in resignation. “okay.but please, don’t get killed. don’t…

try anything too friendly.” then i frownedand added sharply, “and don’t shoot me! understand?” he looked at me in blank confusion,then gestured to the fact he had no guns. in fact, i didn’t see any weapons on himat all; if i was lucky, that meant that he was such a master of hoof-to-hoof combat thathe didn’t need them... but this being me, it probably just meant that he was good enoughto take a radhog by surprise and had never needed to fight anything else. “don’tlook at me like that! just because you don’t have a gun doesn’t mean you won’t findsomething to shoot me with.” wait… i froze as i felt myself turning red as he lookedat me with a smile that was way too cocky… erm… smug, for my liking. “i mean bullets!shooting... bullets… just don’t!”

he gave a soft, high pitched chuckle justbarely in my hearing range as he flew lazily behind me… and for the first time ever,it was my tail that was feeling all tingly, not my mane. together, we picked our way alongthe scree and thorn bushes towards the southern edge of the mountain.* * * “and she said she was cursed! cursed! justfor bumping into me. i mean, i know i sometimes cause trouble for ponies without meaning to,but cursed? that’s a little upsetting,” i rambled as we made our way along. clearly,travelling with me for almost an hour and hearing my entire life story hadn’t reallyconvinced him that i wasn’t the safest mare to be around. i had left out the worst parts,though, for now… and might have shuffled

things up. he was flying after me with a funnylook on his face as we crept around the edge of the talus, at least; i hoped that thatmeant that he was reconsidering. like the far side of the valley, this areawas more sparsely developed. what had been built here looked like it’d been built likebunkers. the homes were made of reinforced concrete rather than wood and stone, and theapartments were like miniature fortresses fighting the creep of nature and water. mostof the buildings looked sunken into the slope, though, and it was often easier to trot overthe flat, muddy roofs of the few in our way than it would have been to go around them.none of the buildings were very habitable; if they weren’t bombed or blasted, theywere usually filled with mud and reeking stagnant

water.and as if matching that style, the two largest buildings off in the eastern edge of the citywere of the same brutal architecture, resembling immense concrete blocks with the edges filedoff. the larger of the two, south of black pony mountain and all the way up on the slopeof the eastern mountains, i assumed was hightower; it wasn’t quite as tall as the fluttershyclinic, but it was a wide, square block of a building about the same size as flash industriesand surrounded by a high stone wall. i could barely make out a garish rainbow-colored glowon the south side. my sleep-deprived brain was getting weirdagain, and yet i felt fine. i knew that i needed sleep, hoped i could somehow find it.but i didn’t see anyplace around here. i

guessed that whatever state i’d been inat happyhorn hadn’t counted as sleep. in fact, i couldn’t remember, in any of mymemories of that place, having slept. it all just blurred together into one smear. withthe shadows getting twitchy and my e.f.s. switched off, i needed to hole up and do somethingto try and shut down for a few hours. i just couldn’t see any place nearby that soundedlike the place the dealer had mentioned. somewhere safe?wait? what was that? somepony had dropped a giant pink gumballin the low, thorny woods. the gnarly trees obscured it, but from above the sight wasimpossible to miss. it glowed slightly with a strange internal illumination, and i foundmyself just staring in shock at it. i pointed

down at it with my hoof. “um… what isthat?” stygius simply shrugged and made a motion of pushing against something, thenbeating it with his hoof, and then he hunched his shoulders once more.hmm… well, it was the most unusual thing on the mountain slope, so… might as wellcheck it out. making our way closer to the pink ball, ifound myself looking nervously at the trees. these were actually alive, and after my lastexperience with a ‘forest’, i was definitely leery of timber wolves, exploding apples,anything blue... however, aside from a carpet of dead, soggy leaves underhoof and numerouslittle streams trickling along, there wasn’t much that stood out. i tried eating one ofthe greener leaves but found it tasted like

a mouthful of tart wax. that didn’t stopme from eating it, of course, but it did get me some curious looks from stygius. he chewedcautiously on one, then spat it out immediately. life endured. even in the wasteland. mostof hoofington might be dead and sterilized, but life was crawling back. this was the resultof two centuries, though, and there were other parts of the hoof that were still just deadforest and struggling yellow grass. without something like gardens of equestria, who knewhow long it would take for the land to really recover?then again, one way or another, recover it would; that was heartening, if only a little.but it raised the question of whether ponykind would recover too... and that looked far moreiffy.

we found a track through the woods; scrapingaway the mat of leaves uncovered the cracked and broken surface of a road running alongthe curve of the eastern valley. most of the homes here were in the process of being consumedby the dead leaves and detritus carried on the streams that cut along the hillside. onceor twice we saw wagons that had been split and twisted by the growth of the trees. inoticed a radhog family rooting around in one of the heavy concrete homes, but theydidn’t seem to notice us, or maybe didn’t care.then we reached the pink bubble; it had to be almost a hundred feet in diameter, andthe looming trees around it were slowly growing along its surface. stygius flew overhead andrammed hard into the shield, and to my amazement

it indented a great distance before snappingback into place and flinging him away. he flipped end over end before righting himselfand shrugging in midair. then he flew down next to me and stood upright, leaning againstit. i trotted up to it and pushed my hoof againstthe surface. there was a ripple, and he tumbled through. i stepped through beside him andlooked at him sprawled out on his back and gaping at me. “oh, yeah. i’m related toone of the ministry mares, apparently. not twilight, though…” he just stared at mein bafflement, and i smiled. “sorry. i might have skipped a few parts.” then i lookedpast him and my eyes widened. “woah.” he scrambled to his hooves and stared as well.inside the bubble was a house the likes of

which i’d only seen above chapel. it wasn’tan ugly block of concrete looking more suitable for a standoff against the striped hordes,but a place where ponies could live. long green grass grew in a lawn around a stonecottage, and the dark hexagonal stones were covered in green vines, the delicate pinkbells of their flowers filling the air with a indescribable sweetness. the cottage wasbuilt back against a natural ledge of dark stone; water poured out of a fissure aboveto tumble into a wheel beside the house that slowly turned and splashed.never, in all my crazy visions of a world before bombs, could i have imagined a placelike this. it made my chest hurt to think that any place like this could exist. as wewalked along the flagstones, i was struck

by the mixing of delicate and thriving lifewith the hard stone plinths scattered around the home. some were obsidian, others rustyred, others white marble, others gray granite slab. there were empty spaces for nests andbirdhouses that were now vacant. the one thing that didn’t belong, however,was the birthday presents. they lay around the cottage every few feet,colorful cubical parcels about a foot on a side. most were topped with bows and fancyribbons. one lay right on the steps leading up to the front door, this one with a littlehandle sticking out of it. i felt a frisson of anticipation as the handle started to turnof its own accord and tinny music issued from the parcel. i reached out a hoof and pushedstygius back a little.

suddenly, the top of the box popped open anda pink pony head popped out on a spring. it wobbled a few times, and when it finally slowedi saw it was done up like a grinning pinkie pie. it turned, looked right at me, and straightened.“hi!” a mare said in a cheery voice, “i’m really so very sorry, but this is a specialprivate pinkie party and i’m afraid you don’t have an invitation. this is a verysuper secure crime scene, and if you’re here, i’m afraid you’re going to haveto wait for a m.o.m. team to say it’s okie dokie lokie to leave! please sit quietly anddon’t make any sudden moves, naughty mcnaughterson. otherwise, i’ll have to just go ahead andassume that you’re a bad pony, and we don’t want that!”“right…” i said as i pulled out the

riot shotgun i’d gotten at happyhorn and,after a moment of consideration, slapped a drum of buckshot in. “‘fraid there’sno ministry of morale anymore and we’re not planning to wait here forever, so youcan just… not do whatever you were going to do.”the pupils of the bobbing pinkie head suddenly flashed bright red. “oooooh… some naughtypony’s gonna need a time out, aren’t they?” suddenly the lids started popping off theother wrapped presents in clouds of confetti, unleashing a swarm of buzzing brightly-coloredlittle spritebots! the winged orbs swooped up over us, their eyes glowing the same ominousred as the pinkie head’s. okay, if there was ever a time for a shotgun,this was it! i backed towards the house as

the robots closed in from either side, blowingcones of lead out at the swirling machines. they exploded into flying shrapnel, but everygap that opened was immediately filled! i wasn’t doing much more than slowing themdown, and at this rate i’d have to switch drums really soon. and at that thought, thecloud of spritebots that had now completely cut us off from the shield opened fire. oneof their little red bolts of incineration magic did little more than sting, but thesesprites were firing hundreds of them and making my armor start to smoke!there was only one thing to do: get inside and hope pinkie pie hadn’t left anythingelse nasty! we ran up the stairs onto the porch that ran the length of the front ofthe house, and i jerked on the front door.

locked, of course. i gave it a solid thumpas the spritebots swarmed around us and the batpony darted into the air. the door soundedvery solid and was firmly closed. stygius swooped and wheeled above me, drawing therobots’ fire as i tried to decide between trying to pick the lock and just trying tobatter the door down. every now and then he’d open his mouth and let out a scream that icould barely hear but also actually barely see radiating out from his mouth. the shimmeringscreech made the tiny robots in front of him crackle, spark, and drop to the ground smoking,but he had the same problem as my shotgun; no matter how many he took out, there alwaysseemed to be more to take their places. i gave the door an experimental kick. ow...okay, lockpicking, then. i tried my best to

focus as i knelt at the door, brushing asidethe yellow tape printed with ‘crime scene: smart detectives and bumbling assistants only’to get at the lock. i didn’t have very many bobby pins, and i sure didn’t have timeto screw around. focus… don’t think about the buck getting shot to buy you time to dothis. don’t think about him turning to ash and drifting from the sky. don’t think abouthow handsome he was or that he was nice enough to come along with you in spite of your crazy!snap. well, i did still have more. break. two more. crack. okay. last shot, and i couldnot mess this up. calm... focus... twist it just like so... turn the lock, and! broken.i gave a little scream, grabbed the screwdriver with my teeth, and twisted as hard as i could.for a second the lock caught, and then my

luck saved our asses again and it popped open.i kicked the door wide. “stygius! in here! quickly!”he dropped down onto the porch in a landing that was just short of a crash, and maybenot that much, his armor and hide smoking in dozens of places, and the swarm wasn’tfar behind him. i grabbed him by his armor and hauled him in, slamming the door behindhim. good thick, solid door; please do keep the robots out. he collapsed onto the polishedwood floor with a raspy exhalation. around me, lights flickered on automatically.i looked around anxiously, shotgun out, but didn’t see anything that looked hostile.what i did see was that the house was, astonishingly, completely clean. aside from a faint layerof dust, i might as well have been two hundred

years in the past. i had to take a secondlook at stygius to make sure i wasn’t seeing things... though i still might have been,of course. then i kicked myself in the rump and set tofinding some healing potions. with all the grass outside, i doubted there was an enervationring here. i ran from room to room and finally spotted a yellow medical case bolted to thewall in the watercloset. it was thankfully unlocked and held four bright purple healingpotions, and i immediately lifted them and raced back to him. don’t die… please don’tdie. you’re cursed, star maiden.no i’m not. curses schmurses. he was definitely on the well-done side, but he was still breathingwhen i reached him. i held a potion to his

mouth and he eagerly slugged it down. theburns on his hide lightened only a bit, so i gave him another. the angry red evened out,and after a third potion, his dusky gray hide closed with barely a mark. he groaned andlay out flat, hooves and bat wings splayed wide. i looked down into his eyes with a thankfulsmile. he was going to pull through. he looked back up at me, gave a wide grin,and puckered his lips. i balked, fighting the impulse to smash his face in. so he wasa little flirty… don’t kill him for that. i closed my eyes a moment, then snorted andpushed his face away. “don’t push your luck.” please.he looked at me in concern, but now that worry for him was past i was taking a longer lookat the house i was in. like the outside, the

inside was decorated in a style that remindedme vaguely of star house and the fluttershy medical center’s atrium. most of it waswood depicting butterflies, bunnies, flowers, trees, and birds, but there was also a fascinatingcollection of gems and metalwork. in the kitchen, the faucet was shaped like a swan’s neck.the wings of the butterflies on the mantle were perfectly cut rose quartz. copper verdigriscrawled alongside ivy carvings and literally popped out off the woodwork. the detail wassuch that i could see the veins in the metal leaves.one thing was out of place: there were stacks of bright pink plastic crates piled up nextto the door. all of them bore the grinning pink pony icon of the ministry of morale.i noticed a checklist on a clipboard resting

on top, though, and read, ‘ministry of moralecrime scene evaluation checklist for super smart smartypants detective ponies’.✔ 1) know who the bad ponies are. ✔ 2) arrest bad ponies.3) find evidence to prove bad ponies are bad. 4) question bad ponies to give up other badponies. 5) repeat steps 1+2. now, i might not have known a lot about crimescene evaluation, but i found myself extremely grateful that pinkie pie hadn’t writtenthe security procedures for stable 99. i doubt there’d have been a mare left under suchguidelines. i dug through the crates, keeping an eye and a riot shotgun out for anythingthat flew or talked, but they were empty save

for dozens and dozens of little envelopesand plastic bags. there was a date written in one of the boxes at the top of the momcsec3sdpthat piqued my interest, though. the day the bombs fell.decorations like the fluttershy clinic and happyhorn? searching for evidence in a housethat had some kind of magic bubble around it? and who was a prominent figure arrestedfor treason right before the bombs fell? the book i’d found in tenpony tower had saidthat this place was near black pony mountain, and dealer had steered me to it.goldenblood’s house. standing there, i felt a shiver run throughme as i stared around the great room. here was where the stallion himself lived; wherehe’d hatched his schemes. where he’d had

a brief life together with fluttershy; clearlyhe’d done all he could to make this place her home as well. this home had absolutelynone of the ostentation of blueblood manor. everything appeared to be simply crafted,yet there was also a quality in the woodwork that i simply couldn’t shake.stygius appeared more concerned about me as i sat there staring at the furniture and decorations.i might find out everything i wanted to know here! if it hadn’t been removed… i simplyhad to search! sleep could wait. the ground floor turned out to consist ofa library, some sort of workshop, a watercloset, and the kitchen adjoining the great room thatthe front door opened into; stairs led up to a balcony running along the top of theenclosed rooms, and more doors opened off

of that. i trotted to the kitchen cupboardsand opened them up only to see that they were devoid of any food. the plates were all neatlystacked, though, the forks and knives polished. the refrigerator wasn’t just bare; it wasempty and cleaned. in the library was a collection of books onhistory, politics, and other things i had no idea about because they were written inzebra glyphs or languages i didn’t even recognize. the desk drawers had stationary,scrolls, quills, and inks all neatly stacked in their respective places. everything wasclean and, for the most part, clear of dust. i was shocked to see how many pictures hehad on his desk. fluttershy was first and foremost, smiling as she held a little bunny,but next to her was luna hugging an embarrassed-looking,

unscarred goldenblood. there were twilightsparkle and an adolescent spike in his cave, sitting on his hoard. applejack and applesnacklooking equally uncomfortable at some fancy function. an incredibly young-looking pinkiepie dancing around a toothless lizard with her friends. rainbow dash flying in formation.rarity wearing a stunning dress in black and red.yet as i sat and looked around his desk, i also took in what wasn’t there. no notes.no garbage in the wastebin. no half-used-up pencils, crumbs, or dirty dishes. no lettersto be answered nor address books nor terminal, even. in fact, the room was so clean thati would have been hard pressed to believe it had ever been used.the workshop, like the library next door,

was neat and orderly. tools were left hangingon the wall next to a workbench; tiny little hammers, pliers, and eyeglasses mounted onleather headbands were all in order. in the corner was a heavy stone oven of some sort.i frowned and checked inside. swept clean of ashes. in drawers under the workbench werespools of copper, silver, gold, and steel wire, verified with a nibble on each. goddesses,didn’t that get a funny look from the dusky batpony. i self-consciously transferred thespools to my saddlebags anyway, though. i looked around again. there were no half-finishedprojects anywhere. no scrap bits left on the floor. nothing to imply that anypony had actuallylived here long ago. i glanced back at stygius, caught his questioning look, and sighed. “sorry.once upon a time there was a pony who lived

here that did a lot of secretive things. iwas hoping that i might get some ans-“ why did i hear music? it was distant and tinny,like a bad recording. slowly, i looked around; stygius was visibly flickering in and outof sight while by the workbench a yellow shape was moving like a ghost. “wait a minute…”i murmured as i cautiously moved to the side, towards the corner of the workshop. the furtheri moved, the more stygius faded from view and the more goldenblood appeared. i heardhis rasping cough as he struggled for breath. he wore a clear plastic mask over his faceas he levitated a length of silver wire before him. finally, when i was in the very corner,he appeared completely solid. he also looked like hell. he was covered inbandages, some of which were yellowed and

dirty-looking. yet despite the wet sound ofhis lungs, he still kept his magical grasp steady as he moulded steel, gold leaf, andsilver wire together as easily as if they were clay. there was a radio on the tablebeside him playing familiar string music. “professor?” a mare asked softly fromthe door, and like a ghost materializing, a stricken black unicorn appeared. her silvereyes were wide and shimmered with tears. a lone candle was on her flank. she sniffedand rubbed her nose. he didn’t look up from his work. “i’mnot… a teacher… anymore… psalm,” he wheezed in that boiled-sounding voice. slowlyhe turned to look at her, stiffly, as if every motion were agony. his eyes fixed on her standingthere as she sniffed. “it’s not… your

fault, psalm.”it was the wrong comment. “how can you say that? it was my fault! all of it!” she sobbedas she collapsed, hanging her head. “if i… if they… oh luna, i wish i’d diedwith the others!” he slowly rose, hobbled towards where shelay in a heap, and, moving with great pain, gently hugged her. “it is… not… yourfault…” he rasped, then coughed that horrid, wracking cough.“i shouldn’t have done it. i… they did it because of me.”he answered her in short, gasping broken lines that i threaded together. “you are not toblame, psalm. not for your kindness. what happened at littlehorn was not your fault,nor will you wishing to assume responsibility

make it better.” he patted her mane. “iwish i could help you understand that.” he held her in his hooves till her sobbingabated. “there... better?” she nodded and wiped her nose.“what about you, professor?” she asked with a worried frown. “when you collapsedat the speech… i was so afraid.” he struggled for breath before rasping, “ilikely have a month to live. two at the most. luna herself is helping to heal the damageto my lungs.” he smiled and gave a little shrug, his eyes distant. “she wants me tohelp her set up her government,” he said as they shifted, sitting and facing each other.he hung his head as he spoke. suddenly he arched his back and resumed coughing and retching.he took the mask off and choked a moment,

and a thin pink stream trickled out of hismouth and onto the floor, smoking where it met the wood. i remembered how glory had cutaway the environmental suit that had fused to my hide from the pink cloud; suddenly ihad an unsettling idea of where the stallion’s injuries might have come from. psalm rushedout and a moment later returned with healing potions. it took four before he finally recovered.“you should be in the hospital, professor,” psalm murmured, looking at the hissing pinkspittle. he didn’t answer or argue at first, seemingto need to concentrate on breathing. then, “the future of equestria might be betterif i don’t survive,” he said, so quietly that i almost missed it.“what… but…” her horn glowed as she

lifted another healing draught to his lips.he suckled on it, coughing wetly again. “but why? you said princess luna needs you. don’tyou want to help her?” he didn’t answer for such a long time thati was sure he wouldn’t. but then he said in his low, raspy voice, “i do. more thanyou could imagine, psalm. but she wants a government every bit as grand and powerfulas her sister’s. i can give her that. it’s possible. but i fear what will be requiredto create such a rule. i’m terrified, psalm. terrified that if i help her do what she wants,it will destroy her and equestria.” he paused to retch up another stream of thepink fluid into an empty potion bottle. then he sat back and caught his breath. he lookedup at the ceiling. “i can see it now, psalm.

she will be loved… but unlike her sister,she will be feared as well. she’ll have all the power of celestia in her hooves, butshe’ll not need to use it. misdirection… doubt… ambiguity… these will reign, andthere will be none to stop them. not for centuries, at least.” he sighed as he closed his eyes.a strange calmness seemed to spill over him, and his words became stronger. “it’s likei can look ahead the entire span of a millennium, great and terrible and bloody. there willbe murder… slaughter… betrayal. history assures it, a tale wrought again and againall across the world. it will be a nightmare, psalm. i can see it clearly… as if it’salready happened and old history. past. dry. dead.”he shook his head and said in his rasping

whisper, his voice flowing like a hissingsteam pipe as he spoke with a look of sad resignation, “i’ve never been so certainof anything as i have this, psalm. so i must ask myself, would it not be better… moremerciful… to help it fail? to try to bring about its ruin swiftly and surely and in theprocess save the hearts and souls of both equestria and luna from that grim future?or should i embrace audacity and try to steer this bloody calamity towards some yet unknownbeneficial conclusion? what is a hundred dead… a thousand… a million… over the span ofa thousand years and more? what is a few cold betrayals when we’ve all passed into theeverafter?” he shuddered and once more broke into great heaving coughs. he spat more ofthe pink foulness into the bottle and sighed.

“truly, death would be a fine, if cowardly,escape from these questions churning about in my head.”finally he relaxed, and psalm cracked a tiny smile. “wow… are monologues a side effectof the poison, professor?” her attempt at humor prevailed. he smiledback. “i’m dying. it gives tremendous license towards the melodramatic.” thenhe laughed and immediately broke into deep, wet, heaving coughs. when he’d brought upmore pink, he sighed. “i just don’t know what i should do.”“professor. she’s… she’s not just princess luna. she’s luna. our luna. theone who actually read your papers on petriculture and zebra mysticism? the one who didn’tthink that a rock hunters’ club was a stupid

waste of a unicorn’s time? we have to helpher!” goldenblood closed his eyes and shook his head. psalm pressed her lips together,then nudged his shoulder. “if you don’t, professor, somepony else will.”the comment stirred him, his golden eyes opening and his lips pressing together in a line.“you’re right. i can just see… the nobility… wealthy… privileged ponies...” he retchedagain and then stood. “i can just see what my father would do if he got her to listento him. his lot got us into this war in the first place. ‘a week long war…’ fools.worthless fools… they’ll perpetuate the butchery ad nauseum. it’s not as if theysend their children to die,” goldenblood muttered as he paced slowly. “in time, she’dsee through the flattery… but it would take

years… perhaps generations… before shecould be strong enough to rule on her own.” “you have to help her, professor. she’sluna. she’s… we have to help,” psalm said as she touched several strangely parallelscars on the inside of her foreleg. “please… i know you want to help her. you love her.”goldenblood smiled, slow and sad. “she’s a princess… how could i not?” he sighedand looked at her. “and you, psalm? how will you help the princess?”“me… i…” she stammered, and then closed her eyes. “i think… i’ve been thinking…maybe i should enlist?” “psalm… soldiers kill…” he murmured.“you burst into tears when you saw a hawk kill a rabbit for lunch. are you sure?”“i know. i know it’s wrong… but… they

burned my home and they killed my school.i…” she stammered and sniffed. “i… i have to do something, professor! i don’tthink i could live with myself if i didn’t!” she bit her lip as she fidgeted. “my roommatetwist is going to sign up. we shared a space above her candy shop, and since it was completelydestroyed… well… she says she’s going to thump and twist those zebras like theywere huge black and white stripes of taffy.” he was quiet for a short time, then sighed.“just, please… if you are going to enlist… please promise me that you’re doing thisfor luna. don’t do this out of hate.” “i won’t, professor,” she replied softly.“hopefully they need somepony for support. carrying water or helping the medics or…or something. i doubt i’d ever be able to

kill anypony.” funny, remembering her fightingalongside big macintosh, i’d say she’d proved quite able.he smiled and lifted the steel rose with his magic. the glow deepened, and the rose camealive, the petals extending and curling, gold and silver. finally, he bent the stem andhooked it gently around her ear; it gleamed brightly against her ebony coat. “here.take this. for luck.” “professor! i can’t. it’s too… toogood for me. i don’t deserve something so lovely,” she said, blushing.“indulge me. i’m dying. it’d be rude to not accept,” he said with a raspy chuckle.“now, help me into the kitchen. the hospital provided some absolutely horrid mush for mymeals, but that doesn’t mean you can’t

have something nice to eat.”she helped him to his hooves, and together they walked out of the room. my vision flickered,and suddenly a pair of slitted yellow eyes were staring into mine. “gah!” i shouted,my forelegs kicking out at him, but he seemed to be wise to me and nimbly darted back. ilooked around, then slumped. “woah. that is so weird.”he pointed at me, then suddenly swayed as he sat on his rump and let his eyes go glassy.“sorry about that,” i said with a little frown, rubbing my mane. “i sometimes have…”how to explain this without sounding crazier than usual? “visions, i guess.” he lookedat me skeptically and i waved my hoof at him. “i know, i know. sounds crazy, but i do.”i looked around the workshop with a sigh,

then turned. in the corner of the room, rightabove my head, was a small hole. i’d bet my horn that there’d once been a cameraof some sort there. why? goldenblood wasn’t the director of anything back then…ugh… add mystery four thousand, seven hundred and two to the list.i rose to my hooves and gave myself a shake, looking at the concerned batpony. he smiledat me and gestured with his hoof like he wanted me to go on. i groaned and shook my head.“you remember the pony i mentioned. the one with all the secrets? well… he usedto be a teacher. he taught at some place called littlehorn… and apparently one of his studentsblamed herself when it got destroyed.” i frowned as i looked at the worktable. “hewas also an artist…” funny. i didn’t

like thinking of him like that. bastard. manipulator.son of a mule… sure. “he helped luna set up the ministries, but… he didn’t wantto. he really didn’t.” i shook my head. “i guess… he cared too much for luna toturn her down.” he gave me a sideways, appraising look. hepointed at me, clutched his hooves over his chest, and thumped them rhythmically as headopted a besotted expression. i noticed he was just a bit nervous as well.“you want to know if i have a very special somepony?” i asked, and he nodded. i smiledfondly. “yeah. i do. her name is glory.” at once his smile melted, and he slumped.“what?” he rolled his eyes towards the roof, hooves wide, looking anguished. “what?what’s wrong?”

he pointed at me, then pointed between hislegs at his equipment and adopted a disgusted look, thrusting his nose into the air witha snort. he looked so disappointed i couldn’t help myself and smiled.“no no. glory is strictly mares only, but i don’t mind males like that. no… my issuewith males is… um…” come on blackjack, admit it. it stuck in my throat a moment,but finally i managed to spit it out. “i, ah… got ploughed pretty bad not long ago.yeah…” he stared at me in shock and i felt myself flush as i looked away. “that’swhy i’m so… nervous… around you. ‘cause i’m trying to… you know… not kill you.”stygius looked mad and worried. he scribbled on his chalkboard slate, ‘i not hurt u’.then he growled and stomped what i assumed

were my imaginary violators.“thanks. i know that.” or he was one hell of an actor. “i’m just… i don’t wantto do it with you and have a flashback in the middle.” i smiled crookedly at him.“you wouldn’t want to fool around with me if i might hurt you, would you?”he seemed to think of it for all of two seconds before he smiled and nodded once. i couldn’thelp but laugh… and speculate. it occurred to me then to wonder how glorywould take my behavior with stygius. i'd only just met him, though, so it wasn't like therewas any emotional connection, and she wouldn't be interested in him herself. probably noteven interested in hearing about it. a little ‘recreation’ would be nice; damned nice,if it didn’t involve raping a male on a

breeding queue or getting nailed to the floor.some nice, plain, middle-ground sex. i wasn’t like glory. what had happened onthe seahorse aside, i liked sex with stallions. a lot. i’d always looked forward to my turnon the queue. even vanity’s memory orb had been fun; had it been viewed in private, iprobably would have had a new toy. stygius interrupted my thoughts by pointingat me and then bumping his forehooves together and giving a pointed look. i flushed, butaside from that nagging panic in the back of my mind... it wasn’t an entirely unpleasantproposition. “maybe,” i said, making him grin. “butnot right now.” from the look on stygius’s face, though, he’d follow me through a firefor a chance at my hind end.

stallions...* * * i spent the next half an hour running aroundthe first floor trying to find some flicker or hear something that might be another recording,but the radroach in my head was waking up and starting to scramble around. i kept seeingthings flickering in the corners of my vision. every now and then i’d see a red bar, evenwith the e.f.s. off, and have to fight the urge to shoot randomly into corners. yet ialso felt slow. before, i’d had a nervous, almost manic energy. now i felt lethargy slippingover me. not fatigue so much as an inability to really put things together.i was wasting time. procrastinating; wasn’t that the word? i knew what i needed to do,and yet… i didn’t want to. as stupid and

illogical as it was, i was certain that ifi truly slept i’d wake up… wrong. completely robotic, or maybe i’d find out that allof this really was a dream and i was really just a mutilated, violated, mutated mare waitingto die. i couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something fundamentally wrong withme; something more than just the fatigue and the augmentations.it was like my own mind was trying to kill me… putting off what i needed to do. happyhornhad gotten me to finally admit that what i needed wasn’t more action but inaction.not more running around but slowing down and facing what was the matter with me. it washarder; when harbingers attacked, i just shot back. killing was easier.“goddesses, i am turning into a monster,”

i said aloud, sitting down on the great roomfloor and cupping my face in my cool metallic hands. at least deus was sane. brutal andterrible, yes, but in control. stygius stood nearby, looking concerned.i needed friends. i needed other ponies. i couldn’t do it alone… and so i smiledat him wearily. “i need to sleep.” if those spritebots outside haven’t come inyet, we should be safe. and i couldn’t imagine seekers getting in through that shield.he wrote on his slate and held it up. ‘tired?’ for some reason, the question struck me asincredibly funny, but my laughter was ragged and high-strung. now he looked even more worried.“actually, that’s the funny thing. i’m not. i’m not tired at all.” i trottedto the couch and looked at it with a sort

of dread. i remembered lying down after priestdied and not being able to get up again. not sleep… just… lying there. “it’s just,over the last day, i’ve blown up a secret facility, gotten chased by a giant killerrobot, had half my face melted off and sewn back together, been attacked a half-dozentimes, discovered my best friend was a drug addict, tried to comfort my marefriend, whoturned into rainbow dash, had a refinery blow up around me, watched a buck take out a tankwith a rifle, trotted through a horrific prison camp, ripped apart an enclave squad, killeda filly, and was plugged into a mental therapy machine in an insane asylum.” i turned myback on him, rubbing my skull. maybe it was the fatigue that was making me all flirtyand boycrazy?

he tapped his slate, and i looked over athim frowning back at me. ‘killed a what?’ i closed my eyes and sighed. “it was anaccident… i didn’t realize who she was till too late… but i still killed her.”the tension in my head was growing again. “i know it was wrong… i want to make upfor it. that’s all i can do now.” that made him look a little less angry and moreconcerned. he pointed at me and then shrugged in confusion. “i… i need to sleep. mybrain needs it. i need it.” i just wasn’t sure i could anymore.he pointed at the couch, and i lay down. “hey… stygius… i was wondering. where do batponieslike you come from?” ugh, procrastinating again, blackjack. he blinked and scrunchedhis brows together. i guessed that that was

the sort of question you couldn’t answerin a few words on a blackboard. “sorry… nevermind. i just…” i sighed and i closedmy eyes. “it’s been so long that i… i don’t know how exactly to do this.”i lay there for a few seconds, then heard the soft click of a door closing. he was anice guy; the fact that he wasn’t okay with what i’d done to boing showed that he wasn’tjust some killer. okay, maybe he was a bit of an idiot, following me... assuming he didn’thave some outside agenda. maybe he-- sleep, blackjack. that’s what you need now.sleep. don’t think about anything but that. though it would be nice for p-21 to have aguy he could… hopefully… relate to. i hoped they could be friends. i know glorywould probably be fascinated by him… unless,

of course, the enclave already knew all aboutluna’s guards and the like, bu-- i grabbed a pillow off the couch, coveredmy face, and screamed in frustration. just… stop! i’d gone through most of my life notthinking about things. why was it so hard now? just sleep, blackjack…if i sleep… i’ll die. i could remember being on the boat, feeling warmth on my face.the feel of glory holding me as i slipped away. goddesses, i wanted it so badly. i remembered…i remembered stars. a vague, fuzzy memory of stars and beautiful music and a feelingof belonging. a feeling of others wanting me to stay.self-destructive tendencies… was that why i was so messed up? i’d died. i’d beenat peace, and then… i’d come back. come

back as this metal and pony thing. they turnedme into deus; maybe a less clunky deus, but still a cyberpony. glory had been right notto tell me. if she had, i wouldn’t have let her. better some more worthy pony likethe stable dweller take ec-1101 and try to find out about goldenblood and horizons. instead,she’d plotted with everyone behind my back to save my life! how dare she? how could she?what gave her the right?! i opened my eyes and stared up at the ceiling,my mechanical fingers about to rip the flowery pink pillow in two. i was angry… at glory?i was… i really was. i felt hot tears running down the sides of my head. ever since i’dcome back in tenpony, i’d been trying to tear myself apart because i was angry at themare i loved. and yet, i did love her, and

yet some fundamental part of me was outragedthat she had turned me into this. yes, technically she had saved my life. yes, she had done soout of love… life isn’t about what you want, miss fish.it isn’t about what happens to you… it’s about how you respond to it. somepony hadtold me that a long time ago; a stallion with a candy-cane-striped mane on a long walk tomedical... how had i been dealing with coming back? i’dbottled it up like p-21. let it fester. let it drive me to be reckless. stupid. i’dturned my back on my friends and turned my back on glory.i lay there and closed my eyes. i imagined a great bank of electrical switches. one byone, i slowly flipped them off. i turned off

my thoughts about stygius and my newly annoyinglibido. i shut down my uncertainty and worry about the harbingers, the core, and ec-1101.i switched off the nagging curiosities of goldenblood and project horizons. one by one,it was like bits of my brain were going dark. i deactivated my newly discovered anger atglory and powered off my concerns for my friends. finally i broke the connection to my self-hatredfor what i was: a filly-murdering mechanical monster.i was left with one last switch in my head. my fear. my certainty that if i pulled it,i would die. i imagined the mare in black from the happyhorn simulation trying so hardto protect me. protecting myself from the very thing i needed most. i grabbed the handleof the switch with my magic and started to

pull.you’ll die… a part of me said as everything let go.maybe. but perhaps you get to dream when you’re dead…~ ~ ~ “professor goldy! i got to go to the bathroom!”rampage whined, the striped filly hopping about with her hindlegs crossed as we scrambledalong the floor of the canyon. the students all carried their own saddlebags and worehiking boots on their hooves as they made their way along. a beautiful sunny day filledthe sky, making the bands in the rock walls gleam and sparkle brightly around us. at ourlead was a younger, healthier, happier goldenblood. the river poured through the curving divide,bouncing and spraying over rocks as the rock

hunters’ club made our way along the bank.there were ponies i knew and ponies i didn’t, yet i could see them all so clearly. “you know you’re in the middle of thewoods? pick a tree,” p-21 muttered beside me, rolling his eyes. overhead, glory andstygius were hovering over the riverbank where water had polished the boulders until theyresembled giant gray eggs. the gray pegasus filly was telling a tan pegasus colt thatthey couldn’t have been left by dragons. “don’t fly out too far over the river,glory, pound cake,” i called out in concern as the fliers wheeled about over the boulders.i helped lift a tiny boo and scotch tape up over a ridge of stone, my magic holding themsteadily.

“i don’t even know why they’re allowedto go to our school,” a coltish trueblood said with a snort. “it’s luna’s academyfor young unicorns. i mean really! what are pegasi and earth ponies going to learn aboutmagic?” “while it’s true that most of our studentsare unicorns,” goldenblood said quietly but in a tone of voice that made my ears perkup, “there are forms of magic that are beyond most unicorns. for instance, you might spendyour entire life trying to learn a spell to tend a garden, while an earth pony could accomplishit with ease. and just as we can learn from them, they can learn from us.”“besides,” piped a tan unicorn filly beside rampage, “he’s my brother! so he can cometo my school with me if he wants!”

“well said, pumpkin cake,” i said, givingthe young mare an approving smile. she beamed back.trueblood snorted at me. “well, fine, but i don’t know why unicorns with less magicthan an earth pony are allowed to be here. what’s she going to teach us? how to notdo magic?” suddenly a rock flew through the air and smacked him upside the head. “ow!”he stared at the filly. “professor! she threw a rock at me!”“accident! my magic went off,” pumpkin cake retorted, sticking her tongue out athim. “professor!” trueblood whined.“unicorn magic is a strange and sometimes unpredictable thing. especially when you’reinsulting said unicorn’s family and friends,”

goldenblood countered.the colt snorted and muttered, “at least for unicorns that have magic.” he glaredat me sullenly. “she shouldn’t even be here. when i tell father, he’ll write toprincess luna about me being around deadhorns like her.” i dropped my head a little; ireally didn’t want to get fired from this job.“she is my assistant, and her magical ability is none of your business,” goldenblood counteredwith a tone of soft yet firm reprimand. their eyes met, and the maroon colt lowered hishead, muttering to himself. goldenblood’s gaze met mine, and the pale unicorn smiled.“professor goldy!” rampage whined as she hopped in place, screwing up her face.“tree. just. use,” p-21 muttered.

goldenblood sighed. “i’m afraid he’sright. otherwise, it’s a long way back to the toilet at littlehorn.”“oooooh!” she whined and then darted off into some brush. “don’t look!” she shrieked.“who’d want to?” p-21 asked as he shook his head, looking around at the others.“hey, what are you doing in those bushes?” pound cake called down from above. the filly’sscream echoed up and down the canyon’s walls. with that disaster out of the way, we reacheda spot near the end of the canyon. here the black rock was scoured clean by a torrentof water pouring down from hundreds of feet above. cool mist played on my hide and drippedoff my mane and into my eyes. i wiped the wet strands away and sighed, looking aroundat the bands of stones in the canyon’s walls,

shown so clearly with the wet bringing outtheir colors. one particular reddish-yellow band of stonestood out above the others. that was because this one had teeth! the massive fangs of someenormous creature were frozen in place where the profile emerged from the rock. “woah,cool!” pound cake said as he flew above us all. whatever the creature was, it’dbeen two or three times the size of a pony. there were lots of other grayish bones visiblein the rock band. “thank you, pound cake,” goldenblood saidas he smiled at the tan pegasus colt. “if you remember our last session, i pointed outhow when sedimentary rocks form, they create bands of stone called ‘strata’. thesestrata are usually arranged from youngest

rock at the top with progressively older andolder stone the further down you go.” “like your room, bro,” pumpkin cake teasedthe pegasus with a grin. “what about those, professor? are thoseb… b… bones?” rampage stammered as she nervously poked one of the shapes embeddedin the wall. “once they were, but now they’ve becomespecial rocks called fossils. long ago, this creature was as alive as you or i,” goldenbloodsaid as he gestured at the cliff wall. “then it died and was buried in this muddy sand.over a very long time, its bones were transformed into rocks like the ones you see here.”his horn glowed as he levitated out a rock hammer, carefully picked one of the fossilsfree, and passed it around... or at least

passed it around till it got to boo. the paleearth filly then popped it into her mouth and started chewing on the fossil like itwas an extremely stale biscuit. “how? was there an outbreak of cockatrices?”trueblood asked with a skeptical scowl. “actually? there’re some theories thatthe transformation occurred with no magic at all,” goldenblood said with a smile.the maroon colt snorted disdainfully. “yes, that’s the typical reaction,” the paleunicorn said with a chuckle. “oooh! there’s another one, professor!and another!” glory cried out as she dropped down to the bottom of the yellowy-red layerand pointed her wing at the darker layer below it. “and even more down here! only… theselook like bugs. and there’s a fish!” the

gray filly said, pointing her hoof at therock face. “the magic of pegasus eyesight,” goldenbloodmurmured, making the maroon colt glower. “yes, there are an amazing variety. i know thatsome books and films talk about ancient monsters like giants and trolls, but really, we knownext to nothing about some of the creatures from long ago. what did they look like, forexample? what did they hunt? how did they live? were they intelligent, or not?” ashe looked up at the rock face, the sun peeked through the clouds and made several gemstonesembedded higher up gleam and twinkle like shards of a petrified rainbow.“spread out and see if you can find more for your collection. remember, only one each,and only ones no bigger than your hoof. leave

the larger ones for others to find.”the fillies and colts spread out in little pairs and trios. i made sure that boo didn’twander too close to the river. the maroon colt grumbled about stupid rock hunters’clubs and joining ‘cause mom and dad said so. pound cake grabbed his sister firmly withhis legs and flew off along the rock face, claiming they were going to find the biggestones of all. i called out for them not to go too far.glory, however, was staring at the huge snarling fossil in the cliff face and the others besideit. “professor… i was wondering… well… there’s all these fossils in this band…and the band beneath that… and i even saw some in the layer underneath that one. butwhy aren’t there any fossils of these big

monsters higher up? i mean… did somethingkill all of these creatures at once?” a few that were listening in stopped pickingat rocks and straightened. goldenblood looked at her with a pleased smile. “an excellentobservation. that is quite a good question. the honest truth is that we don’t reallyknow. history fades and blurs the further back one goes. we’re taught the pageantof hearths warming eve, but what of the countries that we came from? where did they come from?or the princesses? or ponykind? thus, when we get to things happening eons ago, all wecan do is make educated speculations. why so many large creatures in these layers andthen such an abrupt stop? something must have happened.”he trotted up to the rock layer and peered

closely at it. he hummed softly under hisbreath, then paused. his rock hammer then picked out a lump of rock. laying it down,he carefully chipped at the stone till it broke open and revealed a tiny metal fragment.“what is it, professor?” p-21 asked as goldenblood lifted it with his magic.“sky iron. starmetal. moonsteel. the names vary, but it’s a very special kind of ironthat is found only in meteorites; what we also call ‘falling stars’. it has veryspecial properties that vary quite extensively. some is exceptionally strong. other kindsare fairly mundane. it is usually impervious to rust and very difficult to melt or workwith. most ponies don’t even bother studying it as it’s such a bother. but you can findit wherever falling stars have landed.”

he tapped the layer. “the upper boundaryof this fossil-rich layer is full of tiny fragments of this particularly silvery varietyof starmetal, suggesting that once, long ago, a meteorite impacted somewhere in the world.we’ve found fragments of this particular starmetal all across equestria.”“and it killed all those… those things?” rampage asked as she pointed at the fangyfossil with a hoof. “we suspect it did. others hypothesize thatother changes to the world may have killed these ancient beasts long ago. perhaps a cataclysmicvolcanic eruption. but does anypony notice something else?” he gestured towards thehorizontal bands of stone higher up the rock face with his hoof. i stared but didn’tsee anything standing out. certainly no other

fossils like the others i’d seen. just theglimmer of gems studding the rock face in little clusters.“boring…” muttered trueblood. then stygius flew up and tapped a ruby witha hoof. goldenblood nodded in approval. “excellent. that’s exactly it. above this stratum ofrock, gemstones appear all across equestria, yet beneath it there is virtually nothingwe’d call a gemstone.” we all looked at him in confusion. he floated his hammer upto the batpony, who took it in his mouth and knocked the gemstone free. i caught it asit fell and levitated it over to the gold-maned unicorn as stygius dropped down beside me.“gemstones like this are uncommon anywhere else in the world. notice its facets? howclear and flawless it is? we see so many bright

and sparkly gems like this across equestriathat they’re mundane and common. indeed, we cultivate them inside stones. however,if you were to go to another part of the world…” he pulled an ugly reddish-brown stone embeddedinside a rock from his saddlebag. “this is a ruby.”“um… i’m sorry professor, but that can’t be right. that’s a ruby,” i said as ipointed at the glimmering gemstone. everypony nodded in agreement.goldenblood chuckled, “i assure you, this is a ruby. same hardness. same crystals. cutand polished, it would look the same. yet it would have absolutely no inherent magicalenergy whatsoever. also, any gemstones below this impact stratum would be equally mundaneand unmagical. this is the conundrum. how

is it that we go from ordinary, dirty, unmagicalcrystals before the event to countless gemstones afterwards? and why are these gems so abundanthere, but scarcer and scarcer the further one gets from equestria?”the pale unicorn poorly hid his smug expression, and p-21 shared a look with me and glory beforehe rolled his eyes and said with not so veiled sarcasm, “gee, professor. do you have atheory?” rampage snorted and even glory fought a smile.goldenblood smirked back at p-21 and said, with a touch of singed pride, “well, sinceyou’re so curious, i guess i can share mine with you.” he looked up at the gems studdingthe cliff face. “i suspect that when the meteorite struck, so many creatures died sosuddenly that the release of all that life

energy condensed in the gemstones that areabundant in our land. we see a similar phenomenon occur when potent magical beings, like ancientdragons, die.” “is there going to be a test on this, professor?”trueblood asked, rolling his eyes. “i didn’t think rock hunters’ club had marks.”“just because you’ve got rocks in your head doesn’t mean that the rest of us aren’tinterested! right?” glory asked eagerly as she turned to the rest of us. boo tiltedher head and looked up at her as she chewed on her tail, p-21 gave a shrug, rampage scratchedher head, and stygius was checking out my rump. glory drooped in the air. “well i’minterested.” “it’s alright,” goldenblood said ashe looked at the students hunting for fossils

and then turned back to me. “it looks likepumpkin and pound have wandered off again. can you see if you can find them, dear? they’reprobably further back along the canyon. tell them we have perfectly fine fossils for themto pick here.” he looked back at the rest of the colts and fillies working on the stoneface. “i’ll keep an eye on everypony else here.”i trotted away with all due diligence and speed, calling out their names as i pickedmy way through the canyon that arced along the edge of littlehorn valley. seen from farabove, it would have created an image of an immense crescent moon. the river slowed asthe canyon widened. while the terrain was rough and wild, unicorns had already put theirhorns into shaping the stone and molding footpaths,

slowly but surely transforming the canyoninto an immense garden. where earth ponies would cultivate the land and pegasi wouldsimply ignore it, unicorns simply had to shape the land to their whims.what would zebras have done with the canyon and the valley? would they have moulded thedark stone into delicate yet sturdy bridges? tended to the land so that it was lush andgreen as possible? or just ignored it? professor goldenblood said that the zebras built beautifuland exotic cities while leaving the wilderness wild, but it was difficult to imagine an entireworld that was left like the everfree forest. i came around the bend and could see the schoolbuilt into the side of the cliff face. in less than six months, with magic from theprincess herself, luna’s academy for young

unicorns had been erected. a round curtainwall topped with elaborate towers rose beside a lake in the widest section of the valley.diamonds enchanted to twinkle like stars would illuminate it once night fell. built intothe wall of the canyon in brilliant black marble was a palace unlike any other outsidecanterlot. the structure rose higher and higher till a final black spire soared above thelip of the canyon and into the air over the valley.“ma’am?” came a voice from above. i looked up to see pound cake fluttering overhead.he looked worried. not panicked like something bad had happened, but definitely not his usualpugnacious behavior. his brown eyes turned towards a cave in the cliff wall where pumpkincake sat, chewing on a hoof nervously. i trotted

my way towards the cave, one of the largerones i knew of. the canyon was full of little nooks and hidey holes. “we found something...”i trotted to the cave and conjoured a tiny star of light. i looked at the tan unicornand asked in a cautious voice, “what is--“ zebras. i knew that zebras were supposed tobe terrible, deadly enemies. what i saw inside, though, were not the fiends we read aboutin the newspaper but filthy, terrified, and above all hungry people clustered togetherand wearing rags. a half dozen had rifles, but it was all they could do to remain upright.many looked too weak to even stand. the reek was abominable, and i balked for several momentsbefore i took a step forward. “hello?” they shrank back fearfully from one unicornmare and two young ponies. an elderly stallion

dressed in a filthy rag slowly moved to thefront of the crowd as they shrank back. one eye was covered by a bandage, and he had morerags covering other injuries. he turned and addressed the others quickly, then turnedback to me. “no hurt, pony. no hurt.” was he saying he didn’t want me to hurtthem, or that he wasn’t going to hurt me? “no hurt. good!” i smiled widely, backingoff a few steps; indeed, the reek coming off him made that easy. he seemed to relax a littleas the sickly, starving zebras talked to each other in their strange language. i took inhow wretched they were and though how wrong it was given that the school was well stockedand could feed ten times their number. “food? help?” i asked as i pointed back in thedirection of the school.

i knew we were at war with the zebras, butthese people weren’t in any condition to be at war with anypony. a few that wore filthycloaks and stared at me coldly gave me the shivers, but could i really blame them? thechief looked at me and then at the starving zebras. “safe…” he drawled slowly, pointingat the cave. then he firmly shook his head as he pointed past me. “no safe! curse!”“please. let me help,” i begged. if i left and got food, they might flee to anothercave, or worse, try to leave the valley. “we won’t hurt you.” i slowly backed away,pound cake and pumpkin cake coming to flank me. slowly, the mass of zebras began to movetowards the exit. as i continued to move, more and more came out. where i’d thoughtthere’d been only a dozen or so, in the

end i was staring at nearly a hundred filthyand scared zebras. clearly they didn’t like this, but starvation was a powerful motivatorfor them to trust me. they moved with grace and care, despite theirweakened condition. some even had wagons of a sort, exotic balanced bisected vehicleswith one large wheel in the middle that easily crossed the bumpy terrain. many more young,old, and sick were loaded on these strange wagons. other larger two- and four-wheeledvarieties carried what meager supplies they had. most looked fearful, but as they talkedto each other in their strange tongue, i hoped my entreaties of ‘food’ and ‘safe’were making it across the language barrier. i sent pound cake ahead to the school to tellthe dean that we’d found zebras who needed

help. with food and help… who knew? maybethis might be something that they could use to end the fighting! the war wasn’t worthit if it hurt anypony like this. the front gates of the academy stood wide;there wasn’t really any need for them to be closed. the war was as far from littlehornas one could get, and the lone old guardsmare just took in the sight of me and a unicornfilly leading in a filthy, starving horde with disbelief. then she turned tail and scamperedinside. alarm bells started to ring, and the students began to mill about; nopony was exactlysure what to do when the alarms went off. they watched from windows and doorways innervous anticipation. the zebras were equally terrified as they looked around at the school.the school dean, a sour-looking yellow mare

with a gray curly mane, poked her head outthe front door of the building in terror. her horn glowed a moment, then her voice boomedacross the central yard. “release your hostages immediately and depart! this school is welldefended!” from the tops of the towers along the curtain wall, diamond points began toglow an ominous blue. “this is your last warning!”“wait! wait!” i screamed as i raced forward and stopped before the front door. pumpkincake stood beside me, and pound cake zoomed out of a window to stand beside his sisteras well. “they’re not attacking us! they need our help!”“i tried telling them that!” pound cake shouted, waving at the dean in frustration.“she heard the word ‘zebra’ and went

stupid!”“help?” the dean gaped at me in shock. “are you… did you lead them here?! areyou out of your little pony minds!?” “they’re starving and sick! they can’thurt anypony,” i said as i stood between the doors and the clusters of wagons and zebras.“they’ve got a gun!” somepony shrieked. “fire! fire!”“no! stop! we need to help them!” i yelled as the cake twins waved their hooves as well.“please, don’t shoot!” pound cake begged. “they won’t hurt us!” pumpkin cake yelled.“depart at once! this is your final warning!” the dean’s panicked voice boomed over theyard as the zebras started to break apart. somepony, however, had closed the gates toolate, and now the refugees were trapped within

the curtain wall with nowhere to flee. thezebras began to cry out as the diamond spires glowed brighter and brighter.then a shot rang out. “no!” i screamed as i turned and lookedat the zebras i’d wanted so badly to help. the spires discharged. blue-white lines flashedout from the tips of six towers and flashed across the clustered zebras. whatever theytouched simply vaporized. i’d never actually seen magic like this at work; in fact, i doubtedanypony at our school knew exactly how the defenses worked. we’d never imagined whatthey could actually do… a second, and they were being cut to pieces.and it was all my fault. i couldn’t think. i could only move, and that was in the directionof the wagons that were sliced to pieces by

the dancing blue beams. it was the only wayi could imagine getting the beams to stop. at the very least, i would die beside thezebras i’d foolishly lead to their deaths. “stop! stop firing!” the dean stammeredas i reached the screaming zebras. i found the old zebra with the one eye lying in twopieces and collapsed in front of him. we may not have understood their language, but screamslike that didn’t need language to get their meaning across. young zebras with sliced-offlegs were held by desperate parents ignoring their own wounds to tie off spurting stumps.others cradled loved ones killed under the promise of food and help.pumpkin cake and pound cake, to my astonishment and relief, rushed to help me. despite theblood and smell and screams, those two young

ponies raced forward to help with the injured.pound lifted splintered chunks of wagon from their trapped occupants while pumpkin workedto tie off injured zebras’ stumps with whatever she could find.singularly… then in pairs… then in a swarm… the students and faculty rushed out to assistas well. healing spells were immediately applied as the school tried to undo what it had done.half the zebras were dead, and virtually all of them were wounded in some way or another.and once the bleeding was stopped, they started to bring out food and drink.i sat there, blood smearing my hide, emotionally and physically exhausted. then i became awareof the dean standing over me. pumpkin cake and pound cake stood behind her, both lookingpositively grimy. “well… i hope you’re

proud of yourselves. i don’t know what princessluna will make of this incident when she returns from canterlot, but you three are going straightto celestia while i try and deal with this mess.”“what? celestia?” i muttered weakly. a pegasus hooked to a skywagon on the edge ofthe campus looked on warily at the slaughter. “now? couldn’t we at least wash the bloodoff? take some of the injured with us?” “yes, now! this instant!” she shrieked.“i’ll make it clear that this fiasco was your fault. i’ll leave you to explain tothe princess what madness drove you to be so… so ridiculously reckless!” she snortedand stomped, then turned to some of the other faculty. “no! don’t let them inside! uggh!keep them out here! honestly!” she said

as she trotted out where the faculty was tryingthe help the injured survivors. “oh, luna is going to be absolutely furious when shereturns tonight!” “come on, ma’am,” the blue pegasus bucksaid in a low, deep voice. “it’s a long way back to canterlot.” i gathered up pumpkincake with a feeling of dread in my heart. i wouldn’t even have a chance to tell theprofessor what i’d done. a minute later we were airborne, leaving the school behindus. “well, i never thought i’d see it,” the buck muttered.“i’m sorry… i just...” i said as i shivered. “i wanted to help them.”“sorry?” the blue pegasus looked over his shoulder back at me with a wry smile.“girl, you don’t got nothing to be sorry

for. young unicorn mare like yourself helpin’refugees like that… jumpin’ in to stop the firing? getting the whole damn schoolto help, regardless of what that damned nag said? girl, i think when princess celestiahears about this, and word gets back to the zebras, the war will be over. ya’ll mighthave just saved equestria.” the feeling of dread lifted as we soared higher and higherinto the clouds. ~ ~ ~ i felt wetness on my cheek, then blinked awake.i’d drooled all over my pillow in my sleep, and now it was soaked. i self-consciouslywiped my own spittle off with a smooth metal hoof. huh… no mare in black senselesslybutchering ponies… no horrible dreams of

my stable or getting ploughed on the seahorse.it was almost anticlimactic. i turned the pillow over to the dry side and rolled ontomy back, looking at the flowers and birds painted on the ceiling. the details of thedream i’d had were slipping away. something about an academy and some zebras and goldenbloodbeing a teacher there. my head was… better. the radroach in myskull was gone, and while i wasn’t quite at a hundred percent, i was a lot closer toit than i’d been in a long time. i rubbed my face carefully with my forelegs and thenslowly sat up. i cautiously activated my e.f.s. and looked around till i found a single bluebar… along with a sea of red bars on the other side of the door. too much to hope thatthe killer robots with nothing else to do

would have gotten bored and left, i guessed.i cancelled the e.f.s. and sighed as i sat up on the couch.now. what to do about him? on one hoof, he was handsome and fit. he hadn’ttried to force himself on me, but he was keenly interested. on another, i had no idea whohe really was or what he really wanted. i couldn’t treat him as a stable 99 stallionand just rut him because i wanted to. besides, even if he had been relatively gallant sincewe’d met, he might still have an ulterior motive. on another, it would be nice to geta little play. it’d been so long since tenpony, and since my last decent buck-- u-18, fivemonths ago-- that a pony ride sounded nice. but still, on the other other rear hoof, ireally wasn’t sure if i should wait till

i was with glory or not. though as fun andwonderful and dear as she was, she wasn’t a stallion. there just wasn’t any gettingaround that. and on a metaphorical fifth hoof, there wasthat part of me screaming to kill him before he nailed me to the floor and fucked my orificesin alphabetical order. “ugh, i need less hooves,” i groaned,shaking my head. a door opened and i looked over to see stygius,armor off--what was it about the physique of flyers?--trotting out of the library afold of papers under his wing. he sat beside the couch and held up his slate. ‘sleepwell?’ had been written on it. “you know what’s crazy? i actually did,”i said as i rolled forward onto my hooves,

standing upright and stretching my legs. okay,technically there weren’t very many muscles in them to stretch, but the motion was refreshinglyfamiliar. “it’s pretty sad when a decent nap stands out so much. how long was i out?”he stomped his hoof five times. i sure hoped that that wasn’t in minutes. “and whathave you been doing?” he folded his forelegs beside his head andmimicked napping. then he reached under his wing and pulled out the stack of papers. itook it from him with my magic and unfolded them, reading what he’d written.you asked where batponies come from. we don’t know. we have stories that once we were pegasusponies who lived in the clouds. then terrible storm monster came and wrecked home. we hidin deep cave and were trapped. for long time

we live eating magic mushrooms and cave things.we become batponies or… and here i broke off for a moment and juststared at the paper. î½ï…ï‡ï„îµïî¯î´ ï€ïœî½ï…? what alphabet was that?...and live and grow in caves. when we finally escape, bright sun hurt eyes and other ponythink we were monsters! but moon and stars are bright and make us happy. we met lunalong ago and she lonely and we lonely and so we say we help her. then she became nitemarnightmaer moon! but shes nicer than dayponies so we try and help. she lose, and many batponiesdie. with no nightmare moon, many many batponies were killed and we hid back in caves. lunacame back from the moon so we sent our strongest to be her guard, but keep families hiddenaway. canterlot went boom. luna died. and

we go back to cave. sometimes think mistakeever leave cave in first place… other story… nightmare moon and luna madeus into batponies with magic. turn pegasus pony into batpony. not know what she did withunicorns and earth ponies. maybe only need batponies? dunno. now we live in caves andfly out at night. hard to meet pretty mare who isnt family in caves. very hard. soooooooooooohard. sister think i am dumb for following you cause your pretty but you are with yourshiny legs and tight flank and striped mane and your eyes glow and your…okay, now he was getting a little explicit. i didn’t see much else beneath that beyondhim trying to tell me how beautiful i was. he’d sketched a couple of pictures of caves,some of batponies, and one of me. at least,

i thought it was me; i really doubted my hornhad magic sparkles dancing around it or that i had a full moon aura surrounding me.i couldn’t help but smile. back in 99, i’d been a lot like him: always chasing aftermidnight or some other mare that i thought i could have some fun with. i’d never beenthe one pursued by another. i always assumed i was simply too much of a screwup to be worththe trouble. plus there was mom, head of security, and all the awkwardness that generated. howbizarre that the first buck i’d ever attract was some strange batpony, but honestly, givenall the things that had happened to me since getting out of 99, i supposed i should havebeen grateful he wasn’t a cyber-ghoul-batpony with a mysterious agenda.“you’re sweet,” i said, and i actually

giggled as he seemed to float with his earto ear grin. i flushed a little. “but you know… if we did it… it would only be athing. i have a very special somepony, and i don’t think i get two.”he looked a bit confused at that. i didn’t see why. it wasn’t like having sex withhim would make her any less my special somepony. i needed glory in my life; without her, iwas so empty inside it hurt. but it wasn’t like she’d be the only source of orgasms.i wasn’t the only security mare in 99 that polished the old baton when their marefriendwas unavailable. not that i’d actually had a marefriend in 99.“you also know what happened to me,” i murmured as i looked out the window towardsthe distant river to the west. “i... i really

don’t want to hurt you, stygius. i meanit. you’re nice to me… and i have to admit, you’ve really been on my mind since we met…but i don’t want to snap in the middle and do something permanent to you.”he looked at me in sympathy before he grabbed his slate. ‘i can wait,’ he wrote.i smiled and sighed as i rolled my eyes a little. “yeah. but i’m not sure i’llbe able to.” if i didn’t get over this… or at least prove i could have some sort ofnormal physical relationship with a stallion… then those males who’d violated me wouldhave won. i thought how bowel-loosening that ship in the happyhorn simulation had been,felt the shame that i’d been unable to face it. they’d changed me from who i was. mytime in happyhorn had injected weeks of imaginary

time into my consciousness, but imaginaryor not, i still remembered those weeks of extra time between me and the boat. that timehadn’t stopped me from balking there near the end, and nor had it stopped the memoryfrom creeping around in my mind like a suspicious beast.i knew what i needed to do. it was just… weird.and stygius trotted to a window and wrapped the curtain’s drawstring around his forehooves,tugging it tight and looking back at me with a grin. i stared at him a moment and thenburst out laughing. it made his ears wilt a bit, but i shook my head with a wide smile.“no! no no no no…” i repeated. “that’s more… my thing, actually. at least withglory.” wow, that sure made his eyebrows

arch. “if i do it, i need to do it normally.”or as normally as sex between a cyberpony and a batpony could be. i trotted over tohim and magically undid the string around his legs. “but thank you…”his amber eyes were bright and round as he blushed and sweated nervously. if he was plottingsome horrible fate for me, then he was one damned good actor. “you’re a good pony,”i murmured as i looked into his wide eyes. “i’m going to kiss you now. okay?”he gulped as if i’d just promised to shoot him, then clenched his eyes shut and puckeredhis lips ridiculously. i smiled and lifted my hooves and held his head gently, extendingmy fingers to hold him still as i brought my mouth towards his.then my fingers tightened, my legs jerked,

and a resounding snap filled the air.no! i stomped on that image and impulse with all the force i could. i wasn’t a landminethat would go off. i could do this because i wanted to! i was in control of me. i was…please be in control… he opened his eyes, blinking and frowningin concern as i sniffed and shed a few tears. “sorry,” i murmured awkwardly and he gavea sigh and a resigned smile. he’d said he could wait, and he would.but he wouldn’t have to. i leaned in and pressed my lips to his. hewas so shocked that he simply let me, kissing back as he could. he had such soft lips anda nicely sweet mouth. the kind i could kiss all day.too bad i lasted about a minute before i slowly

pulled away. i was in control, but i didn’twant to push that control too far just yet. then i blinked at his googly-eyed expressionas a slow, almost drunk smile crossed his face. i let him go gently, and he slumpedto the floor. “was that your first kiss?” i asked, a touch concerned. he started tonod and then stopped and touched the side of his face... where i’d laid him flat.oh, right. i grinned sheepishly, “i mean, the first kiss where you weren’t hit immediatelyafterwards?” he smiled and nodded as he swayed there. i couldn’t help myself. igave him one more firm smooch, and that finished him off. he playfully flopped over completelyand lay there as a dusky lump of goofiness. i smiled and patted his shoulder. then i trottedfor the stairs; we hadn’t checked the second

floor rooms yet. i got up them and into abathroom and was closing the door as it hit me. my legs couldn’t shake, my heart couldn’trace, and my breathing wouldn’t gasp, but i could at least sink to the floor next tothe toilet and cry as something snapped inside me. it wasn’t painful. quite the opposite.i pressed my face into a fuzzy pink floor mat as that hideous, suspicious beast insideme roared in pain from the wound inflicted by a simple kiss. my tears were of relief.i’d kissed him and not killed him. he’d liked it… liked me.for the first time in a very long time, i felt like blackjack the mare. maybe a littlewiser, but still blackjack. not blackjack the cyberpony nor security the madmare ofhoofington. just blackjack. who knew a little

normalcy could feel so good?when i’d recomposed myself, i wiped my eyes and took the opportunity to use the facilities.functional plumbing and a flushing toilet: another miracle in the wastes. then i steppedout and saw stygius coming up the stairs. as soon as he saw me, he immediately smiled,but a touch of concern lingered in his eyes. ‘u ok?’ he wrote on the slate.“yeah. just not used to it,” i said as i stood and looked at the other three doorsup here. if i was lucky, i’d find a flicker or something that would help me refocus mymind. i opened the first, looking at a bedroom. like the rooms downstairs, everything wasneat and tidy and gave no impression at all that anypony actually used it. one wall wascovered by four tall transparent display cases,

each one with a dozen different rocks insideindividual glass compartments. there was a little tag beside each of the samples.gold nugget, flankorage river. purple fluorite, las pegasus. amber, stalliongrad. silver ore,fancee. there were more unusual names that i guessed were from faraway lands. the crystalsweren’t like the standard magic jewels i was familiar with. in fact, while there wasa selection of magical gems, most of them were strange and exotic-looking. some weredelicate needle-like crystal spires and strange purple cubes that peppered the surfaces ofstones. others were simple rocks, like granite and marble, that i was more familiar with.one section had a dozen different types of ore all arranged alphabetically.fossil, crescent moon canyon.

i slowly opened the case and levitated thehorn-sized stone out, then turned it over in front of me. the small spiral shell resembledan extremely old tan cookie. i sighed and put it in my saddlebag. beside it was anothercurious rock, a flake of silvery metal. “starmetal, hoofington.” and right beside that was astrangely glowing milky white crystal. “moonstone, moon.” as amazing as that was, it didn’tdistract me from something else i found very curious.the glass wall between the two had melted. i opened the door to the case and pried loosethe silvery flake and the pale stone. i’d seen these two together before... only they’dbeen separated by a layer of flux rather than simple glass. i looked over at stygius. “standback. i think this is gonna do something.”

i dropped the stone and flake from my handsinto my telekinesis, closed my eyes, and carefully brought the two closer together. as i didso, the metal began to glow and the crystal to glow brighter, and instantly my pipbuckbegan detecting magical radiation pouring from the two. stygius backed away with me.we stepped out onto the balcony walkway overlooking the great room and closed the door almostcompletely shut. i peeked through the gap at the two floating rocks.holding the two at the furthest distance inside the room i could manage, i forced them together.the flash and explosion rattled the house, though clearly the building had been builtfrom magically-reinforced materials. the detonation blasted the door right into my face, and onlymy hastily raised cyberlegs kept the wood

from taking my head off completely. the forceblasted stygius into the air as i fell back and nearly crashed right through the balconyrailing, chunks of door flying out over me and tumbling down into the room below as ilay there on my back. i had no idea that my radmeter could even click that fast, thoughthe rate was decreasing quickly. okay, that was a little toastier than usual. when i lookedback towards the empty doorframe, i saw cracks spiderwebbed through the walls around it.“ow…. that was really stupid!” i muttered as i slowly sat up, rubbing my head. i pulledout a pouch of rad-away for each of us, smirking around mine at stygius’s disgusted expressionas he drank his, then stepped back inside, looking at the shattered cases and the rocksstrewn across the floor. the bed was smoking,

and the floor was blackened below where i’dsqueezed them together. embedded in one wall was the moonstone. embedded in the oppositewas the flake of starmetal, still giving off smoke.i trotted towards the flake’s impact dent and looked at the smoking bit of metal. no,not just smoking. it was melting away before my eyes, shrinking as it made a long, lowscreaming noise. glowing white smoke curled up from it as it slowly vanished and thatsmoke condensed into tiny white motes of light. they were exactly like the motes in the zebraruins. i saw them disappearing one by one and lunged forward to touch one with my horn--ooooooooo the unicorn mare i occupied walked carefullyup towards the dark cottage on the hillside

overlooking the pouring river and knockedher hoof on the front door. “princess luna?” she called out in worry. then she knockedagain, then finally used her magic to open the door. the interior was pitch black. “princessluna?” she called in a weaker voice. the light of her horn reflected off countlesspolished silver stars set in the walls and ceiling. a strange, ominous note rose up fromthe basement, and she hesitated a moment at the door. “p… princess?” the basement door was blown open by a darkwind that scooped the mare up and carried her down the steps into the earth, dumpingher in a heap behind the glorious dark princess. a work table was set up in the middle of thesubterranean room. strange and exotic zebra

statues loomed on like silent mentors examiningtheir student’s work. hammers and tongs lay tossed aside next to a cold forge. sheshaped the metal with her magic alone. “yes!?” she boomed as the silvery steel twisted inthe air before her. the force of her voice nearly knocked my hostover. “p… princess? thy… thy sister… she sent us to find thee. she hath been forcedto raise both sun and the moon for three days and nights.” the princess flinched at theword ‘sister’. the hum grew stronger, and the shadows cast by the pale light ofher horn moved unnaturally, as though they were peering at us.“so! it taketh her three days for to seek me. and she didn’t come herself. surprisesurprise,” the princess said, her boom dying

to a normal voice as her horn glowed, thatoppressive hum filling the air. “princess? art thou well?” the unicornasked in fear. “nay, we are not!” she said with a stompof her hoof as her head fell. “she doesn’t need us. nopony does.” her eyes glared atthe metal as it finished shaping into a helmet. “well, if she can raise the sun and themoon, why can’t we? why can’t we do both just as well as she can?” she demanded asshe whirled, facing me as tears ran down her cheeks. “we don’t need her. we can doit all ourself!” “princess!” the unicorn gasped, backingaway. “nay!” she said as she magically put thepieces of armor in place. she seemed to swell

and grow darker. it was as if she was drinkingin that horrible humming scream all at once. her starry mane grew cold and hard. her coatturned black as pitch. “we are a princess no longer! we have no sister! if ponykindhates and fears us, then let them have our night in wrath instead of beauty!”and with that she exploded into a cloud of darkness, and everything went black. beneathit all, the hum persisted in its steady, proud drone….ooooooooo i lurched and shook my head hard. woah…that was… interesting. i rubbed my bleary eyes, trying to pull my head into the hereand now. i remembered the terrifying statue of nightmare moon that’d been in the hoofingtonmuseum, but that statue had been cute compared

to what i’d seen just now. the sight ofluna transforming into that dark shape made me shiver from horn to… shoulder. really,it’d be nice if i could get some nice goosebumps going.in a minute the starmetal had disappeared entirely, the white wisps and flickering motesbeing drawn westward out the cracked window and fading away from sight. i saw the littlebots buzzing about on the far side, but it hadn’t broken. stygius flew to the otherside of the room and dug at the wall, popped the moonstone free, picked it up in his mouth,and carried it to me. i looked it over closely. unlike the metal flake, the moonstone wasintact. only a small indentation had been made in it where i’d forced the two together.“woah…” i murmured as i looked at the

faintly glowing white stone.he nodded, and i carefully put the crystal away in my saddlebags. i wondered what hadhappened to the moonstone that’d been extracted from the folly shell. i supposed it was somewherein the muck at the bottom of the bay underneath the hms celestia. it hadn’t been among thethings i’d gotten back in tenpony. ugh, i came here for answers. not more questions!really, wasn’t there a quota on mysteries? huffing in annoyance, i moved to the seconddoor. knowing my luck, there’d be something horribly vague and terribly nagging that’dgo completely over my head. i sighed and looked back at stygius. he had my back... well, heat least definitely had my backside in his sights. then his eyes met mine and he flushed,coughing self-conciously as he looked away.

still, i couldn’t help smiling.the door creaked open slowly and a stale, lonely smell rolled out over us. i saw thecrib in the corner decorated with butterflies and birds. gems dangled from a mobile aboveit. stuffed animals sat in dusty vigil atop a dresser while toys peeked out of a dustytrailer. there were still diapers stacked up on the underside of a changing table nextto the door. i gazed in at a room never used... never even entered, from the dust on the woodenfloors. slowly, i pulled the door closed once more.there was no mystery after all, and for once i wished there had been.i made my way into the last room, a bedroom decorated in the twined hard/soft motif ofnature and metal. like all the rest of the

house, it’d been cleaned and tidied up andall but abandoned. indeed, unlike the library, there were no pictures of any kind in here.no clothes. no personal items. nothing that suggested that a pony named goldenblood hadlived in here. it was nearly anonymous. i trotted to the bed and pushed down on themattress. i had to give goldenblood credit; he definitely had good taste in bedding. ipressed down with my forehooves and felt it give. i looked over my shoulder at stygiushard at work looking through the dressers. my eyes wandered along his mane, his exoticwings, and his tail. i didn’t know if it was a flyer thing or not, but there was justsomething about his form that made my eye wander from the gothic black shield on hisflank down the backs of his legs and up the

front.so, could i do this? should i? i groaned and pressed my face into the bed.i just couldn’t decide; there were plenty of reasons to and plenty of reasons not to.i didn’t want to be defined by what those bucks had done to me on the boat. i didn’twant to be defined by that. didn’t want to be a victim. i also didn’t want to beset off by any buck that brushed my ass. if i was going to thump a guy like candlewick,i wanted it to be my choice, not my reaction. but i was also scared to death that if i triedanything, i’d kill another pony who didn’t deserve to die by my hooves.he buried his head into one of fluttershy’s dressers, or, at least, i assumed they werehers from the butterflies carved in the woodwork.

i smiled as i watched him over my shoulder...and then i slid my saddlebags to the floor and a moment later sent my combat armor tojoin them. please, luna and celestia, please let this go right. “hey…” i croaked,then coughed, and smiled again. “hey, stygius…” he pulled his head out of the dresser, a glowinggolden memory orb in his mouth. he looked at me stretched half on the bed, his eyesdrawn to my posterior. then i gave my tail a little swish and watched as his eyes poppedround. i swished a little bit more, and the memory orb fell from his mouth and rolledslowly along the floor. i picked it up and floated down onto the nightstand. he slowlyapproached, looking torn between eagerness and concern.he lowered his mouth to his chalkboard and

wrote briefly, not taking his eyes off myswaying tail. ‘u sure?’ “yeah. i am. if you’re still interested?”i asked, half hoping he’d changed his mind. but he swallowed and nodded. i closed my eyesand bowed my head. “you know what happened to me, though… so, if i tell you to stop…please stop. okay? for both our sakes.” he approached till he was right behind me,then wrote something else as he blushed profusely. ‘virgin’, it read, and he smiled sheepishly.“well… you can start by touching me,” i murmured softly as i closed my eyes. don’tkill him… don’t kill him. i want this. i really do.then i felt his lips on my cutie mark. his muzzle nuzzling my hide. and never, ever,have i been more thankful for having skin.

i felt my body twitch in response, and i smiledas that reactive fear remained at bay. i felt his breath on my hide, his hooves touchingme in vaguely reassuring ways. he was taking his time, and i didn’t rush him. i neededthe time too. then he moved back further and dared to move beneath my tail.it was an interesting touch, nothing at all like glory’s. she was soft; she knew whatto stroke and what to avoid. his was firmer and heavier than hers. his lips more hesitant,his mouth stronger. my mind reduced to two thoughts: ‘oh yes’, which i expressedin a delighted groan, and ‘don’t kill him’. i was in control… and with everyminute i felt better and better as he helped me feel like a mare… like a pony. damn meif i didn’t understand deus now. when you

were half machine, you needed something, anything,to remind you that you were also flesh and blood.very flesh. very blood. and when he entered me, it was all i couldto keep myself together. my legs could remember the feeling of the nails, my nethers and throatthe burning pain and humiliation. this wasn’t that. he wasn’t them. i was safe. i wasin control of myself. and while every second a part of me screamed to get him out beforehe started hurting me, to rip and tear and kill… i suppressed it. i refused to allowit to set me off as he pressed above me and moved inside me. he huffed as he increasedspeed and i tensed. he slowed, and i relaxed. before too long he made a series of squeaksand i felt hot wetness inside me. of course,

i was nowhere near climaxing myself, but thatwasn’t the point. this was about me being able to do this and put what’d been doneto me behind me. and as he squirted, i had one more fierce impulse to rip the invadingmember off. then his lips met my ears and neck and like that, the impulse was gone.i’d been ploughed badly, but none of them had shown the slightest affection.i finally collapsed on the bed as he withdrew, an oddly depressing sensation. i crawled therest of the way onto it, and he moved beside me, his brows furrowing and his eyes concerned.he reached for the chalkboard and wrote ‘good?’, holding it between his hooves as he lookedat me. poor buck deserved better than me hugginghim fiercely and sobbing as that murderous

impulse broke apart and flowed out my eyes.“really good, styggie. really… really really good…” i blubbered as i curledup against him and let him hold me and curl his wings about me. he might have looked completelyconfused and worried, but right now he knew exactly what i needed.when i finally pulled myself together and wiped my nose and eyes, he kissed my hornand then started to pull away. i reached out with my magic for a very specific part ofhim and froze him in his tracks. “where do you think you’re going?” i asked witha tiny smile. his eyes grew wide again as i gave a careful tug and leaned forward tokiss him again. “we’ve only just started…” * * *

i. liked. stallions. i liked mares too, butright now, curled up with stygius on the bed, i had to admit that i liked the boys everybit as much as i liked the girls. i pressed my nose to his chest, taking in his musky,sweaty scent as i felt his heart beating. he’d lasted three rounds and now snoozednext to me. i didn’t want to pull away, and for now my itch had been scratched. i’dactually worked up a sweat of my own; even with the metal and synthetic organs, i’dstill made quite a workout of it. i probably could have kept going for hours, but why ruina good time by forcing him to draw it out? i’m gonna need another bath, i thought,feeling things drying on my hide. oh well. showers later. stygius was smiling in hisdaze; he’d been good. not spectacular, but

for his first time, he’d definitely putup a good show. i’d even popped once our last round, to my own delight and surprise.i doubted we’d have time for a fourth; we couldn’t stay locked up here forever rutting...okay, for the wasteland that actually sounded damn inviting, but still! i felt… good.it was something i hadn’t felt in a long time. good. not drunk. not exhausted. notcrazy. okay, i felt guilty. i didn’t deserve tofeel this way… but aside from that lingering urge to kick myself on general principle forwhat i’d done after yellow river… and at yellow river… and every other messedup thing i’d done… i felt damn nice to be held like this. the next time i was withglory, i would do all i could to make her

feel this way.so… move and wake him… and be tempted into a fourth round… or just rest here?my eyes went to the memory orb on the nightstand beside us. mmmm… well… it would pass thetime nicely. i floated it over and touched my horn to it with a lazy smile. my horn flaredand flickered as i worked to make the connection. come on... get in there... i can’t spendall day just lying around on goldenblood and fluttershy’s be--ooooooooo the rain poured down, a heavy, persistenttorrent that could only come from hoofington’s skies. sometimes i wondered if the sky hadsome vendetta against the city, doing all it could to drown it and cut off the sun andmoon even before the enclave arose. the pony

i was in was a familiar unicorn stallion standingout in the rainy night and looking at a mare isolated in the yellow light of a single streetlamp.she wore a trenchcoat that covered her from head to hoof, and her long black mane hungacross her shadowed face from under a dripping cap. all around us were dark trees, and inthe distance i could see through the rain the towering city lights of the core. something snapped beneath my hoof, and shesquealed as she spun around. “who’s there?” she whispered timidly. there was no answerin the pouring rain. she trembled, hanging her head once more as my host slowly movedcloser. the steps he took were slow and tired. she shrank back a little, then cleared herthroat. “h…hello? um… um… umgabe bwanka

t… t…”“trito. ‘may peace favor us all’,” the stallion murmured softly, barely audibleover the pouring rain. “you have the package?” “yes!” she said as she turned away anddug a heavy-looking parcel wrapped in tape from her saddlebags. “you have no idea howhard i’ve worked to get this to you!” she said as she hugged it in her hooves likeit was a precious baby. the stallion in the rain didn’t reply. “h..h…here! takeit! it’s all our notes! everything you need. please. i’ve worked so very hard…”the male stayed silent. he simply stood there outside the patch of light.then he rasped in that unmistakable voice, “i know. first you tried contacting a zebraenvoy directly; she met a tragic end with

a grenade slipped into her saddlebags. thenyou used nurse blossomforth to try and get it to a pow who was being sent back to zebralands in a prisoner exchange. of course, blossomforth was a m.o.m. agent, but fortunately she meta bad end with a memory modification spell before she could report in to pinkie and luna.you made several subtle overtures to members of the zebra government, all which were rebuffed.so then you arranged a meeting with a member of a zebra sympathizer terrorist cell. atthis moment, they’re being raided. your contact will be killed in the firefight. there’sno way to extract memories from a dead pony.” her hat glowed gold and lifted off her head;at once the pouring rain began to wash the dye out of her mane. “hello, fluttershy.”goldenblood stepped into the pool of yellow

light. the rain poured down over him, mattinghis mane to his scarred, pale hide. “no… no no no… you can’t,” she whimperedas she clutched the parcel to her chest, turned away as if to shield it from him. “please…”he didn’t say anything at first. he simply gazed at her with eyes that felt tired. “whyare you doing this, fluttershy? i would have thought that after blossomforth was exposed,you’d have given up.” fluttershy clenched her eyes shut and trembled,sniffling. “i have to. i have to do something. luna won’t use the megaspells to heal ponies.she wants twilight to turn them into weapons!” “something twilight would never do nor authorize,”goldenblood murmured. “you know this.” “twilight might think it’s wrong, butwhat would stop somepony else from doing it?”

fluttershy asked.“if somepony else does weaponize your creation, i guarantee that the first demonstration willhave zebra observers. they’ll see what megaspell weapons do. they’ll go home and tell theircaesar to end the war.” but even he didn’t sound convinced.“will they?” fluttershy asked in return. “or will we just use the war as an excuseto wipe them out completely?” she gave a heartbroken little sob, then looked at himand asked, “is the only way for this to end to have everyone die? i won’t acceptthat. i can’t! treason is better than that...” some of the raindrops on her cheeks lookedremarkably like tears. goldenblood reached out to her, but she flinched away.“i promised i would never hurt you,” he

whispered gently in his scarred voice as hewithdrew his hoof. “you broke your promise,” she replied,her tone quiet yet unshakably firm. “how could you do that to me? call… call outher name...” she shivered, and somehow i doubted that it was because of the cold orthe wet. “it was an accident,” he replied, butshe kept her eyes away. “i know that that didn’t make it any easier, fluttershy. butit’s true. when i said her name… i wasn’t thinking of doing what we were doing withher.” fluttershy pressed her lips together firmly,eyes clenched shut. “i don’t believe you. all those nights you spent with her. all thosetimes you said you were working with her.

alone… and then you do that?” she shookher head and sniffed, “i was going to have a baby… our baby…” she raised her faceto the rain, the tears pouring down her face in black rivulets as more dye slowly washedout. “i was going to be a mommy. a real mommy!”“i know. and you would have been a spectacular one, fluttershy.” he sighed as he too lookedup at the rain, but there were no answers to be found in the falling droplets. “buteither way, i’m sorry it’s come to this. you need to stop trying to get megaspellsto the zebras. they’re already sneaking around the m.a.s. looking for information.they don’t seem to know it originated with the ministry of peace.” he sighed and shookhis head. “you need to give this up.”

“i… i can’t… don’t you understand?”she begged as she looked up at him. “i went with the others to stop the war! not fightit. not to kill. but… but what have i really accomplished? the fighting is still goingon! i see soldiers hurt… maimed… dead. i see ponies injured in zebra terrorist attacks.i see zebras being forced to live in zebratown, and that horrible camp they’re making atyellow river… and i can’t seem to do anything to stop it!”she backed away till she bumped into the pole behind her. “don’t you see? i’m notlike twilight or rainbow dash or rarity… they all want to win! they like being ministrymares! even pinkie pie and applejack are helping to hurt ponies. did you know that applejack’scousin made a glass antipersonnel bullet that

fragments in the wound? it can take days toget all the pieces out!” “that’s the intention. tie up their medicswith difficult injuries…” goldenblood murmured, now looking away himself.“oh really?” that drew his eyes back to her, and even i was taken aback by the scornin her gaze. “do you know what glass bullets actually do? the infections?” she askedas she stared at him. “the pieces are almost impossible to detect; they can remain lodgedin organs and cause crippling pain. they migrate, tearing holes in tissue as they move! thezebras won’t waste time treating injuries like those. they’ll just euthanize theirinjured and keep fighting all the harder!” “fluttershy… we’re at war…” he saidlamely.

“so that makes it okay?” fluttershy retortedsharply, starting to pace. “we can use glass bullets. we’re at war. we can use airdroppedmines that’ll blow up any foal that trots along, zebra or pony. we’re at war. we cankill… and murder… and maim… and do horrible horrible things… ‘cause we’re at war!”she sat and started to sob, “i hate it. i hate everything about it. and i have tostop it! even… even if that means giving megaspells to the zebras. if luna’s notgood enough to use megaspells to heal battlefields… then maybe the zebras will be better thanus!” she finally dropped back to a near whisper. “at least… at least it will helpthem with dumb glass bullets…” she just sat there in the rain, head bowed,sobbing. he said nothing. finally he murmured

softly, “i’m sorry, fluttershy.”she sniffed and drew a ragged breath. “me too.” finally she straightened. “wellthen, let’s go.” “go?”“to… to princess luna… or pinkie pie… so they can banish me… or throw me in adungeon… or… or do the things they do,” she murmured as she looked up at him.he just smiled and shook his head. “don’t be ridiculous. i wouldn’t have gone throughall this trouble if turning you in had ever been an option.” he sighed and looked ather. “i love you, fluttershy. i know you don’t believe that, but it’s true. yes,i care for luna too. but she never had my heart. only you ever did. only you ever will.”she stared at him, shaking, before she looked

away. “i’m sorry… i… i don’t…sorry…” “i promised,” he rasped softly as he turnedaside with a small, sad smile. “i promised i would never hurt you, fluttershy. i’msorry i made you doubt me… that i said what i did, when i did. but i won’t turn youin. i beg you to stop this, though. zebras can’t get their hooves on megaspells. it’lltake the war to an entirely new level. please?” “i can’t. don’t you understand?” shesaid, desperation creeping into voice. “if i don’t do something… i think i’ll gocrazy. i have to stop it.” “perhaps… what if i did something? madesome way for you to help prevent ponies from being hurt?” he asked, then sighed. “youcould also take it as a more sincere apology.”

“goldenblood… you don’t have to do that.”“i have to do something, fluttershy. if you keep this up, you’re going to go toprison. i couldn’t bear to see you in such a place.”“then help me. please. if the zebras get their hooves on megaspells, the war will haveto stop. if the zebras and ponies both know that battles are pointless, they’ll haveto negotiate. right?” she said with a wide, hopeful, and horribly naã¯ve smile. “i can’tjust… just sit on this. i need to do something too.” she smiled slightly. “you can understand?”“yes. i do.” he stood perfectly still for a few seconds as the rain poured downupon them both. finally he said, in a voice barely louder than the rain, “you shouldwrite to professor silver stripe. her father

is doctor propos at the zebra academy of science,and i know she has some means of contacting him clandestinely. he’s one of a few backchannels i use to keep tabs on what’s going on in zebra politics, and he is an outspokencritic of the war. maybe you two could collaborate on treating the casualties. try and open upsome avenue for peace talks.” he looked back at her, his gaze once again firm. “butplease… not megaspells. if you keep trying to pass that to the enemy… sooner or later,pinkie pie is going to catch you. or luna will. i can’t protect you then.”“i… thank you,” she murmured as she put the parcel back into her bags. he noddedin acknowledgment, and she said softly, “goldenblood? do you ever dream that things were different?”“all the time. but then again, if they were

different… would we have ever had what timetogether we did?” he turned away. “goldenblood?” fluttershy murmured, andhe paused, looking back at her over his shoulder. “please, get out of the rain.” i felthis lips curl in a smile, and with a single nod, he trotted away.ooooooooo i jerked out of the memory and looked at thedrowsy batpony beside me as my brain processed what i’d experienced. fluttershy had triedto give megaspells to the zebras to end the war? had she succeeded and been responsiblefor the megaspells that burned equestria, or had the zebras developed those themselvesbecause she’d failed to give them an alternative? i supposed that, either way, it really sucked.and they’d broken up because he’d called

out some other mare’s name in bed? it seemed…silly. who cared who he unloaded with so long as, at the end of the day, he still lovedher? back in 99, i could probably name twenty mares i’d been with offhoof. as long asyou were off shift and everypony was happy with the arrangement, why not? sure, marescould grow close --though if your fondness for each other impacted your stable duties,there’d be hell to pay-- but i couldn’t think of any mare that would want exclusiverights to another mare. the closest i could think of was the overmare with p-21. thatwas just… wrong. selfish… but then, it wasn’t just that he’d beenseeing somepony else; he’d called out the other mare’s name when with fluttershy.he had to have been thinking of her, whatever

he claimed. sure, if glory had done that tome, i would have laughed it off. if it’d been the other way around, i’d have a lotof explaining and apologizing to do, but it wouldn’t have been the end of the world.but fluttershy did seem like the oversensitive sort. it would take a lot of care for herto be intimate with anypony, and i supposed that any betrayal or injury from him wouldbe more than she could bear. and she’d been pregnant...i reached down to my own stomach, running my mechanical fingers along my hide. whatwould it be like to have a filly or colt of my own? in 99 we always knew we’d have oneeventually. a few lucky mares might get the opportunity for a second if a another maredied before she had a daughter or had fertility

problems. i always joked that me reproducingwould be a crime against equestria. lying here, right now, i wasn’t laughing.i was thinking. did i want to have a child? here, in the wasteland? in hoofington? now?okay, maybe not here nor now. maybe if i could scrape together a few thousand caps and setmyself up in tenpony. have a filly or colt in nice safe medical conditions. give thema few years and teach them how to shoot and take care of themselves.have a family. a real family, something more than life in 99. i did want that. given everythingthat had happened to me, despite it all, i wanted a kid. kids. plural. when i was donewith ec-1101, i could go back to spike and do everything to get gardens to work. cleanup equestria. have a kid. or two. or three.

hee…it was all just a fantasy, of course. i wasn’t going to just run to triage and have my implantremoved. i’d also have to pick the right stud. talk to glory. maybe she’d have oneas well. i mean, she might not like stallions, but it wasn’t like she’d die if she waswith the right one once. heck, i knew medical ponies could inseminate mares if needed withoutthem ever having to see a stallion during the process. happened occasionally in 99.oh, and i’d have to see... well, triage had said that my reproductive parts had managedto stay functional, but that was before the celestia and my cyberization. the professorhadn’t mentioned anything about them, but there were a lot of things she hadn’t mentioned.i supposed that, even if something was wrong

there, glory could have the foals or we couldadopt... the idea didn’t feel as appealing, but it’d work. something to think about…talk about... i might not be the smartest pony, but this whole subject was definitelysomething i didn’t want to rush. it’d be more than my own head if i screwed it up.i rolled onto my side and snuggled against stygius. he was warm, firm, and didn’t mindmetal legs. i knew i’d be guilting about feeling this way sooner or later but for now,nuzzling his neck, i really couldn’t help but smile. glory would like him. not like-like,of course. but he had a gallant idiot streak i bet she could really relate to. kissingalong his chin and cheek, i moved my hoof downward. a few seconds later, his eyes poppedwide as his cheeks went red. i gave his nose

a little lick as he gave a meek chirp.round four… okay. okay. enough. there was getting overa bad ploughing, then there was having fun, and then there was just wallowing in it. wheni saw glory next, i was going to make her hooves curl! as i finally slipped off thebed, i was sore and tingly in all the right places. stygius… he’d need a little moretime to recover, but from the grin on his face i was pretty sure he’d be fine.stallions… are… awesome! of course, we both needed a shower; we werepositively ripe. i trotted into the bathroom with a smile on my face. maybe i wasn’tcompletely over what’d happened to me; there was still that muttering defense mechanismin the back of my head, but i didn’t think

that i’d try and kill a male just for makingthe wrong comment or brushing my rear end. still… i did a little dance on the balcony.i hadn’t killed him and i’d had a good time!this had to be one of the top five best days i’d had out here in the wasteland, justbehind finding out glory was alive after flash industries and our little concert in starhouse before going into the tunnels. of course, i knew that something horrible would probablyhappen soon to erase it; my life seemed to inextricably fall into that pattern. but i’denjoy the great feelings as long as i could. after a nice hot shower-- hee! hot water!any day with hot water pouring down on me was a good one!-- i emerged, put my armorand saddlebags back on, picked out whatever

magical gems i could find in the shatteredrock collection, and trotted downstairs. well… time to start thinking about how we were goingto get out of here. i alternated between bites of cram, chunks of gemstones, and pieces ofmetal from the workshop as i sat on the desk in the library and looked out the window atthe bots milling about outside. we might be able to race past them and out the shield,but that would be iffy. i had visions of one of us ending up as a shower of ash.i tried to peek around at the main pinkie box, but the angle from the library windowwasn’t very good. i needed to get higher. fortunately, i had freaky zebra balancinglegs that let me stand upright on the desk. ah, there it was. and there were its red eyes.mhmmm… still not a happy ro-- wait. what

was that?in an upper corner of the library was a tiny black camera sensor. why had he needed somany? i looked from it to the desk and back again, wondering if i might see somethingif i could get my point of view close enough to its… well, i not only had freaky zebrastanding powers but equally freaky cyber thumb powers. i used them to carefully climb upthe bookshelves, and pretty soon i realized i was onto something when i heard a faintcrackle in my ears. yes! another recording. i lifted my head even with the camera, thenturned and looked down into the library. the change was astonishing, from pristineclean to an absolute mess. there were more books piled in stacks around the desk thanthere were on the mahogany bookshelves. papers

had been taped to the walls, and the wastebinwas overflowing with wadded-up parchment. only narrow tracks to and from the door allowedhoof traffic. goldenblood was sitting at the desk, rasping softly to himself and hissingan inhalation every three or four words, “now… pertinent to equestrian command one and theformation of the ministries, the judiciary shall remain under the review of the crownwith judges appointed, monitored, and removed by the crown. all ministries retain the rightto exclusive internal legal codes of conduct, but any binding ruling of the ministries shallbe appealable by equestrian court--“ a flash of golden light filled the room, andwhile i started, goldenblood remained coolly examining his papers. when it faded, the lastperson i would have ever imagined appeared.

there was absolutely no mistaking that radiantcrown nor missing that softly billowing tricolor mane. princess celestia. i only had two memoriesof her, one troubled and the other regretful. now i saw another side of the former rulerof equestria: anger. “director goldenblood.” her voice wasstern, the type of voice mom used when i was in deep trouble. she looked at the stacksof papers and books, and her horn flashed once. in an instant, the books were back onthe shelves and the papers, including the one he was writing on, were stacked on a smallerdesk on the opposite side of the room. “i wish to have a discrete word.”“i have an office, princess celestia,” he replied in his shallow, rasping voice.his pink scars looked wet and shiny, and he

sat neatly on the edge of his seat, pressinghis forehooves together as he leaned towards the princess, peering at her over the tops.“there was no need to come here and organize my controlled chaos.” then he clenched hiseyes shut, coughing deep and wet. despite her ire, the princess betrayed a tiny concernedlook before stiffening once more. “it seemed to be the only way i could talkwith you face to face. you’re a notoriously difficult pony to meet. that seems to be theway of almost everypony around you,” she said firmly. “i was supposed to speak withtwilight sparkle today, but imagine my shock when i was told she was busy with ministrybusiness. when i pried, i found out that i wasn’t even on twilight’s agenda today,per your orders.”

“was there a part of that which was unclear,celestia?” goldenblood said in his shallow rasp. i would have loved to have known ifhe was smiling behind those hooves. “twilight sparkle is my most devoted studentand dearest friend, and because of you, she didn’t even know that i wanted to see her.you have no right to interfere in our relationship or meddle in our private affairs,” the princessretorted, her eyes narrowing. if they’d been focused at me, i doubted i’d retaincontrol of my bladder. but goldenblood looked back with something bordering on contempt.“ah, i’m afraid that that is where you are mistaken,” he replied calmly, his wetraspy voice turning sharper. “twilight sparkle isn’t your student anymore, celestia. she’snow luna’s ministry mare. she has a job

to do winning the war. her time is literallypriceless, and i take great pains to manage it and her to be as efficient as possible.”“twilight sparkle isn’t your subordinate, director!” celestia retorted. goldenblooddidn’t respond, and for an instant, doubt flickered in her eyes. his remained as steadyas steel. “if you have problems with how i executemy duties, take them up with your sister. i’m sure that she’ll be happy to spareyou some time, celestia.” i suddenly realized he hadn’t been calling her ‘princess’anymore. he looked at the stacks of papers, magically flipped through them, and then stoppedand yanked one free. “i’m sure that princess luna would be overjoyed to hear your concernsabout the…” his eyes glanced back to the

paper once more. “diamond dog relocation.”“those are intelligent, thinking, feeling people. they may not be ponies, but it’snot right to simply take their land because we need it.” she trotted right up to hisdesk, then sat down and glared at him, reinforcing the fact that alicorns were frigging huge!he didn’t shrink back, though, nor look away, as he said in that steamy hiss, “funny.i recall you using the same excuse of ‘imminent and vital manifest need’ when you gave theorder to seize the coal fields southeast of shattered hoof ridge eleven years ago. thatlead to the zebra invasion at dawn bay. which lead to attacks across the zanzebra strait.and… well… you know the details better than i. but when twilight gives an identicalorder to seize splendid valley, it’s wrong.”

he tossed the paper onto the desk.“it was wrong twelve years ago and it’s wrong now,” celestia countered, lookinganguished. “don’t let twilight make the same mistake i did. please... let me speakwith her.” goldenblood frowned as he lifted the paperagain. “i’m afraid that’s not possible, celestia. twilight needs the gems, caverns,and security to test hazardous spells and talismans. the m.a.s. nearly burned down theirmanehattan hub testing incineration spells, as you may recall, and given all the zebrainfiltrators and sympathizers we’ve dug out in the last two years…” he sighedand shook his head. “i’m sorry celestia, but as i said… twilight’s time is invaluable.she simply does not have the time to be your

special student any longer.”“goldenblood, you can’t let her do this. i didn’t step down so my sister and my studentcould do horrible things!” celestia objected with a toss of her mane.“well, that’s funny. i was under the impression that that is precisely why you stepped down.”his eyes narrowed. i’d never seen a pony scowl at princess celestia like that before.i didn’t think it was possible. “with all due respect, celestia, you quit. and youdidn’t sue for peace. you didn’t negotiate an armistice. you didn’t even surrenderwith honor. you… just… quit. and in quitting, you dumped this entire war, which you started,in princess luna’s lap.” “you think i don’t know that? you thinki could still rule after what happened at

littlehorn?” celestia demanded, her eyesblazing like twin suns. “do you know what i thought when i saw what the zebras had doneto my sister’s academy? this is my fault! mine!”“and you were right. it was your fault,” goldenblood said in low, deadly tones. “youcould have silenced the nobles. you could have told hippocampus to find another way.put down energy quotas. worked to overcome the impasse with the zebras. instead, youdecided to go to war. you, celestia.” “i had duties and responsibilities to allof equestria!” she protested. “and now you don’t,” goldenblood saidflatly. “you should have given princess luna a year, at the absolute minimum, fora transfer of power. five years would have

been better. and you should have negotiatedpeace before stepping down. even if it came with penalties… we could have dealt withthem. but you didn’t. you quit, and dumped this entire mess on your sister’s back.and now you don’t like what she has to do to win the war? to create her own rule? torun equestria as she needs to run it? tough.” he folded his hooves on the desk before him.“princess luna is doing what she must. twilight sparkle is helping her by doing what she must.”“even if it’s the wrong thing?” celestia asked with a soft plea in her voice. i neverthought i’d hear a princess speak like that! “i have to do something! there must be someway i can help them to not repeat my mistakes!” “luna is not interested in your help, celestia.neither is twilight sparkle. there is no place

for you in the new government. i made sureof it.” from the look of shock on celestia’s face, i wondered if anypony had ever spokento her like this before. it was a slap in the face.“i just want to help my sister and my student,” she whispered. “please!”he sighed and closed his eyes. “i’m sorry, celestia, but this comes from luna. she’sadamant on making sure that this is her rule, her land, and her victory. and i am determinedto see she gets it.” he levitated up the paper once more. “but… i’ll see if ican do something for these… erm… diamond dogs, are they? unofficially and off the record.just please stop trying to contact twilight. i think she’s trying to use time spellsto create a thirty-two hour day just to get

more work done.”“yes. that does sound like her,” celestia murmured.goldenblood gave her a sympathetic smile. “please, celestia. i know you are concerned,but it’s now out of your hooves.” he paused, and for a moment his eyes seemed to size upthe magnificent white alicorn. “if i can think of some way for you to help, i’lllet you know.” “oh, that’s quite all right. i’m surei’ll find something to occupy my time.” celestia nodded and started to turn away.then she paused to look back at him. “goldenblood. do you remember that time when you told menot to attack the zebras twelve years ago?” “vividly,” he replied.“right now, i know exactly how you felt

then. i hope that i may be as inspired asyou were. goodbye, goldenblood,” celestia said with a formal bow of her head. he roseand bowed deeply in return. but when she disappeared in a flash of golden light, goldenblood didn’tsmile or sneer. he trotted back to his desk, lifted a brass flask from one of the drawers,and took a pull before burying his face in his hooves.i stared at him sitting there. then he muttered to himself in a voice so low that i nearlymissed it. his words, however, made my blood turn to ice. “don’t make me kill you,celestia.” a few seconds later, he rose and trotted fromthe room. i hung there till my vision flashed and reset. then there was a chirp in my ear;i flailed with one limb, then slipped off

the bookcase and tumbled down, landing firmlyon my cybernetic butt. “owww!” i whined aloud, then winced and rubbed my backsidebefore looking up at stygius, bathed and back in his armor as well.‘u ok?’ he scribbled on his board. then he pointed at me and stared off into space.“yeah. i am. just… ow…” i stood with a groan and gave myself a good shake, tryingto wrap my head around what i’d seen. kill celestia? could anypony do that? i mean, thezebras had, but they’d had their entire war effort to use, and even then they wereonly able to do it as part of the apocalypse. goldenblood might be a sneaky bastard, buthe couldn’t do that! could he?the discovery of the camera in the library

spurred me to search for others, and we spentnearly an hour looking. there turned out to be at least one in every room, and stygiuswas kind enough to, flapping as hard as he could, lift me up to the point where i couldsee more recordings. none of them were as grave as the one i’d seen in the library,though. threatening princess celestia… that was just… how could he– could anypony–think that? the majority of the recordings, in fact, werenot just ‘not as grave’ but fairly odd and often boring. many of them were silent,like one in the kitchen where fluttershy was trying to make a meal for an obnoxious whiterabbit. another showed a rather infuriated scootaloo barging in and fairly screamingsoundlessly at goldenblood. i don’t know

what he told her, but when he finished thelook of horror on her face had her trotting from the room as swiftly as her hooves couldcarry her. others had sound but didn’t seem terriblyimportant. there was one in the guest room where goldenblood waxed on about the moonstoneacquisition for his collection to a vaguely-familiar-looking unicorn and pegasus close enough in appearancethat they might have been siblings. they teased him about abusing his authority for a rock.goldenblood grinned and replied, “rocks,” and the recording ended with him telling themto take care of pinkie pie. another after it had him complaining to horse about theugliness of the core. the yellow pony laughed about how functionality took priority overaesthetics.

in the nursery, though, i found a recordingi’d never imagined. goldenblood was slumped against the empty crib, weeping as if it werethe first time he would and the last time he could. he clenched his teeth along withhis eyes, hissing as if he were being tortured as he sobbed and choked.“here you are,” a strange buck said in a reverent tone. it was a blue unicorn wearinga pince-nez. his mane was a luxurious silver-white, and on his flank was a model of an atom likethe drawings i’d seen in textbooks. “it’s been three days.”goldenblood turned and looked at him over his shoulder with a blood shot eye. “ami not permitted to grieve the loss of my daughter, trottenheimer?” he hissed.“that requires you to acknowledge that you

ever had one,” the blue stallion replied.“four leaf put two and two together. don’t worry, it won’t spread. the m.o.p. is rallyingaround fluttershy to protect her. she wants you to come to dinner. no arguments.” hewatched as goldenblood pressed his brow to the crib again. “sometimes i think you’retrying to commit suicide by overdosing on secrets. it wasn’t your fault.”he made another horrible choking sound. at first i thought it was more tears, but thenhe threw back his head and i saw his sick grin. tears streamed down his cheeks as helaughed. trottenheimer’s eyes widened in shock as the scarred buck rasped, “that’sjust it. it is all my fault...” “what?”“fluttershy and i were together intimately,”

he said as he sat, gazing into the empty crib.“in the heat of the moment... i... called out the name of another mare.”the blue unicorn screwed back his lips in distaste as he scowled, and then he sighedin disappointment. “goldenblood, really?” “i know. i know!” he hissed in a rush.“there isn’t one part of that stupid thing i haven’t analyzed in detail! i don’tknow why i said it. but i did, and... it was at the worst possible time. she’s so terriblysensitive... she’d already had complications... the stress... the pressure... all of it wastoo much to bear. she left me... then six hours later i got the call...” he startedto laugh, but three laughs into it they transformed into ragged sobs. “ministry mare fluttershyadmitted to fluttershy medical center for

a miscarriage...” and he buried his facein the crib. “i didn’t just lose the mare i loved, trottenheimer. i killed my daughterwith a name!” trottenheimer stood behind him for a longminute, then finally approached goldenblood and awkwardly patted his shoulder. “look...you couldn’t have known... and you wouldn’t have done it if you did. it’s just... justone of those things,” he said as goldenblood wept. “but you know what’s going on. we’rebarely hanging on. twelve attacks on hoofington in the last month, and if princess luna changesher mind and moves our research to manehattan, then things are going to get a lot more difficult.we need you, goldenblood. either to step up like before, or to step aside. but not tojust sit here.”

the words had a galvanizing effect on thescarred buck. “you’re right...” he rasped, his voice like a dying breath. “i have promisesto keep... and none of them involve a wife... or a child.” he closed his eyes again. “tellthe department heads to meet tomorrow. we need to expand our operations. take a moreactive role in bringing this conflict to a close in the right way and at the right time.”he pressed his forehead to the rail. “that... that will have to do. for now... please giveme one more night to mourn whisper.” that was all i could bear to watch; goldenbloodhadn’t just lost fluttershy to his mistake. he’d lost a child, too… and that bastardsanguine had kept her survival secret from both of them! if they’d known, would ithave changed something? everything?

damn it. i didn’t want to pity anypony who’dcontemplate killing princess celestia. i tried to take my mind off the sight of goldenbloodin such a state, starting by signaling stygius that we could head back down. the batponywas worn out from being my elevator and landed a bit heavily, taking a moment to catch hisbreath. i trotted quickly from the nursery down to the living room. he walked after me,his wings dragging along behind him. i sat on the couch, rubbing my face. when i’ddiscovered that this was goldenblood’s house... well... i hadn’t exactly thought that iwould find a golden memory orb with all the secrets nagging me there for the taking, buti’d expected to find something. what i’d found was goldenblood the pony.a teacher. a lover. even a father. i didn’t

want to think of him like that. i wanted tohate him, think of him as a monster who’d contemplate killing celestia. i hated theidea of him as a victim. a screwup. ...normal. i don’t know which was more terrifying;a ridiculously intelligent master plotter with a secret ministry under his command,or somepony who was all that... and who could fuck up too.i was distracted from my thoughts by a bit of movement in the corner of my eye. lookingover stygius’ shoulder, through a picture window, past the long grass out front andthe swirling spritebots, i saw something that didn’t belong: a pony in steel ranger armor.she was just standing halfway through the magic field, the glowing surface distortedaround her. the red sparks of light from the

swarming spritebots fizzled uselessly againsther armor. then a second steel ranger stepped through. a third. a fourth. i rose to my hoovesand slowly approached the window for a closer view.then a fifth stepped through. he wore on his sides two massive anti-dragon cannons. ashe stepped out in front of the rest and they turned to make way, i saw the black towerslined in green on their armored flanks. you never forgot guns like those.steel rain was here. ________________ footnote: maximum level reached.(author’s note: ugggggh! this chapter was cursed. just cursed. everything that coulddelay me or interrupt our attempts to brush

did so. it’s also the longest, i think,and i didn’t mean to. so sorry. i really need to keep these to thirty pages or so.ugggh..... anyway, thanks so very much to kkat for creating foe, to hinds, bronode,and snipehamster for spending a ridiculous amount of time trying to make this decent.thanks to mint julep again for keeping me on this track. thanks to ilushia for helpingme try to get blackjack’s psychology down... girl brains are hard... lastly, thanks toeveryone that leaves comments and tips are very much appreciated through paypal to david13ushey@gmail.com.thank you for reading and i am so very very sorry it’s taken so long to get out.)(hinds: “i really need to keep these to thirty pages or so.” you know he’s actuallyserious when he says these things? yeah.)

Author : indra

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